


NERVE

by anni_prinsessa



Category: Jeanne Ryan, Nerve (2016), Nerve (book)
Genre: Blood, Claustrophobia, Danger, Dare, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Phobias, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suspension, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22771471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anni_prinsessa/pseuds/anni_prinsessa
Summary: This is a story about my own characters playing the dangerous online truth or dare -game (minus the truth, of course). It's heavily inspired by Jeanne Ryan's 2012 book NERVE and the 2016 movie. I wrote this for myself and had a lot of fun but if you loved the book or movie like I did, you should check this out :)
Kudos: 3





	NERVE

Chapter 1: "Live a little"

Wednesday

I sit down as my counselor Mr Edley looks at me. He seems to be seriously considering whether or not to be completely honest with me.  
"So, Harper, I read your script.."  
"And?" I ask nervously. "Just say if you didn't like it."  
"You still have a lot of work to do if you want to publish it. Like a lot, a lot." He says.  
"Okay.. What's wrong with it, then?" Why am I so nervous? Of course, I've worked my butt off with this book, so there's that. But my counselor is simply my English teacher whom with I've always been in good terms. I shouldn't feel like this.  
"There's nothing really.. wrong with it.. Some parts just don't feel quite right, you know?"  
"No, I don't." I try to laugh. "I need a little further explanation."  
Mr Edley flashes me a smile. It makes me a little less nervous.  
"Your genre is sci-fi." He states. I nod. "With a romantic storyline." I nod again. "It just seems like you've written something you've already read. Something that people except to read when they open a sci-fi book."  
"Isn't that a good thing? People get what they want?" I ask.  
"Yes, of course, and there is nothing wrong with your story. It's just how it's written."  
"So... You're saying that I'm not a good writer?"  
He laughs. I feel annoyed. There's nothing laughable about this. Writing is my dream and pretty much all of my future plans rely on it. If I'm not good at it, I want to know. Better sooner than later.  
"No, no, Harper, you're an excellent writer. But the problem is, you write adventure and romance. And it doesn't feel realistic, it doesn't have enough color."  
"Um, my book is about the end of the world. How can I make it feel realistic, when it's such an abstract concept?"  
"I don't mean that you should make your readers believe in the end of the world. I want your readers to believe that your characters are experiencing the end of the world. Their reactions and actions to everything that happens.. They're not deep enough. Your plot is amazing and I don't want you to change it unless you feel so, but I want you to rewrite your characters and make them feel more real."  
"And how can I do that? They feel real to me."  
He looks at me for few seconds, trying to calculate if he should say what he has on his mind.  
"Harper" He says and leans closer to me across from the table. "You're a good girl. You write about romance and adventures, but have you ever experienced one?"  
I stare at my hands. I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. He's right, I have never done anything. Pretty awkward that even my teachers know it.  
"I am not telling you to get into trouble or throw yourself at someone, I just.. Maybe it would be good for you if you put your script aside for awhile. Don't read it, don't write it, don't even think about it. Go to a party or something. Live a little."  
"Um.. Alright, yeah, I guess I can do that.." I nod.  
"I hope you didn't get me wrong here." He says. "You're and excellent writer and a good girl. I don't want you to change yourself. Just try to relax little bit."  
"Okay." I nod.  
"What would you think if we scheduled our next meeting to be on September?"  
"That's four months away?"  
"Yes." He nods. "I suggest you use three of those months having fun and gaining experiences and work on your book during the last one. How does that sound?"  
"I um, that sounds good." I say. "I'll have a whole summer to work on the changes then."  
"And to live." He reminds me. "If you need help you can always email me."  
"Okay, thanks." I smile and stand up. He hands me my script.  
"I really do believe in you as a writer." He smiles.  
I stuff my script to my backpack, turn around and walk out of his office. 

To be honest I feel very embarrassed. I really thought that my book was finished. Done. I had fallen in love with my characters and my story, I had really poured my heart and soul into it. I was so sure of it? And when I finally get some feedback from my complete story... The plot is alright, characters are alright, my writing is alright, but the fault is on me? My book isn't good because I'm such a coward who hasn't even been to a party before? Well, maybe I haven't been to a party because I've been so damn busy writing.  
I walk to my car and slam the door behind me. I turn on the music and let the tears of frustration come. I know that Mr Edley doesn't hate my writing. He thinks I'm doing well. If anything, he advised me to lose control for awhile and quit being such a perfectionist. I understand that. It still hurts me, though.  
My phone rings. It's Willow. I clear my throat and answer the phone.  
"Yeah?"  
"Have you heard?" Willow asks excited.  
"Heard what?"  
"Calvin is trying out for NERVE!" She says. "I'm so proud of him, you can't even imagine it! Please go watch his dare and maybe even comment something, he needs to get to the finale rounds."  
"Yeah, okay, sure.. I hope he does well." I say.  
"You don't sound too excited, Harper." Willow says. "Is something wrong?"  
"No, I just, I had my meeting with Mr Edley and he wasn't totally in love with my book."  
"Really? I can't believe it! You're such a good writer, I'm sure he doesn't hate it or anything.."  
"No.. He just, had some criticism and you know how I respond to it." I roll my eyes.  
"Oh" She says. Out of all people, she knows how I respond to criticism. "It's going to be fine, Harper."  
"I know." I smile a little. "Hey um, are you going somewhere on Friday?" I ask.  
"There's a party at Dave's." Willow says. "Do you want to come?"  
"I uh, yeah, actually. I'd love to come." I say.  
"Wow, this has never happened before." She laughs. "I need to go now, sweetie, go check out Calvin's dare on NERVE so we can cheer for him on Friday at the party."  
"The finale's on Friday already?" I ask.  
"Bye, love ya!" She hangs up without answering to my question. 

I sigh and open the NERVE website on my phone. After few minutes of searching I find a video of Calvin performing an ABBA song in Mcdonalds and asking afterwards if some chick would like to bang him. That girl looks like she'd totally be up to it but I guess Willow stepped between them right after the video ended. I press thumbs up for Calvin's dare and keep scrolling down, eyeing on other potential players' videos. To be totally honest I don't really get this whole NERVE-trend even though it has been around for few months now. I'm in the middle of watching red-haired girl's attempt to sneak out of the store after pretending to shoplift, when the text "DO YOU WANT TO BE A PLAYER" pops up to my phone. I hesitate for one and a half seconds and press the neon pink "YES". I scroll down the prelim dares. Most of them are really stupid; Kiss a stranger, Pretend to shoplift, Flash to someone. I roll my eyes as I imagine myself doing any of these things. Ask five people about the meaning of life. That sounds deep enough. Also exciting enough, since I'm not good with talking to strangers. I accept the dare, start my car and drive out of the school parking lot. I listen to music and curve to a mall near my school. It shouldn't be too hard to find people there. On the parking lot I accept the terms of using NERVE and fill the needed information to the site. Instead of my first name I write down my middle name, Trinity. Using my middle name seems like an good idea since this kind of stuff is kind of out of character for me and well, it definitely sounds more badass than Harper.

I start filming with my phone, walk to the first person I see (middle-aged woman with black I-need-to-talk-to-the-manager -hair) and ask "Hey, um, I was wondering, what do you think is the meaning of life?". She glances at me and speeds up her steps.  
"Well, the dare didn't say I needed an answer." I reason quietly to my phone. I can see the woman staring at me from her car. I walk in front of an old lady who's sitting on a bench in front of the main doors.  
"Excuse me, can I ask you a question?" I ask her.  
"You already did, didn't you."  
"Um, yeah, you're right.. Anyway, what do you think is the meaning of live?"  
"Love is." The lady asks. "Are you okay?"  
"Yeah, sure, thanks!" I say and step inside the mall.  
"That's two out of five." I comment to my video. I walk to a group of 15-year-old boys.  
"Hey, what's the meaning of life?" I ask.  
"That's like, super deep.." One of the boys answers. I'm not sure if it counts to ask a whole group a question so I keep going.  
"Only two left." I whisper.  
I try to not be so obvious about filming the situation as I find my last two people. They're in their twenties, a sweet looking couple.  
"Hey! What do you think is the meaning of life?" I ask the girl.  
"I wish I'd know." She rolls her eyes smiling.  
"How about you, what do you think is the meaning of life?" I turn to the guy.  
"I'm not sure. Like, love and happiness and all that stuff.." He answers. That makes his girlfriend 'awww' loudly.  
"Yeah, great. Thank you." I say and run away before they start sucking each others' faces. I stop filming and post the video to NERVE. I know this isn't exactly what Mr Edley meant when he said "live a little" but it's something. Somehow I even feel a bit better. 

Thursday

Next day at school is normal. I hang out with Willow, Calvin and Noah, we talk about summer and the upcoming party. Of course, when the next Friday's party is a subject of the conversation, NERVE comes along quickly.  
"I'm doing another dare tonight." Calvin says.  
"Cool, what do you have in mind?" Willow asks. She adores her boyfriend, you can see it in her eyes.  
"I'm not sure yet.." He says as he starts scrolling the NERVE website on his phone. Willow and Noah watch the dares other people have completed.  
"Harper!" Willow screams. "Did you do a dare?"  
"Um, yeah.. I don't even know why, I just..-"  
"That's so cool, Harper, now I have two people to count on!" She smiles.  
"If you're so into NERVE, why don't you complete a dare too?" Noah asks.  
"Ugh, you know me, I'm a coward." She rolls her eyes.  
"No you're not, babe." Calvin says and kisses his girlfriend.  
"I'm perfectly okay just watching." Willow smiles. "Especially now, when both my boyfriend and my best friend are going to play!"  
"Does that mean that I have to compete against you, Harper?"  
"Oh, maybe you two could pair up!" Willow gets enthusiastic.  
"No, I think I'll just leave it to that one dare." I say. "I have no interested to actually playing NERVE and I'm not going to take your spot as a player, Calvin, so you have nothing to worry about."  
"Harper, please." Willow says. "It would be so much fun!"  
"I don't think so." I laugh. "I had my fun and now I'm back to normal again."

At the end of the school day I get an email that turns the tables. NERVE asks me to complete another dare, only now there's a prize. I roll my eyes as I open the link to see what the prize would be. I gasp. All the books from my amazon wish list. I know it doesn't sound too impressive, but I really love books, and there are over 70 of them. That's a pricey list. I shut the link and go back to see what my dare was. This one was a bit longer:

Go back to the mall you went yesterday and ask three people if they heard the end of the world coming. In fifteen minutes you will meet there a potential player named Chase.

(picture of a tall, dark boy with messy hair, thick eyebrows and a leather jacket)

Ask him about the end of the world and then beg for him to save you.

I eye on the dare. Doesn't look hard at all, considering that I would earn over 70 books from doing this. I click text ACCEPT DARE and hop on my car.

I drive to the mall and lock my car behind me. I walk past the same old lady I saw yesterday. I consider talking to her for few seconds, but she already thinks I'm not alright so discussing the end of the world with her would probably make her even more worried. Also I don't want to bother her again. I start filming again. This time I walk straight to the bookstore and smile at the cashier.  
"How can I help you?" She asks.  
"Um, can you hear the end of the world coming?" I ask quickly.  
"Excuse me?" She asks. She looks so confused.  
"I mean, do you have it?"  
"A book called 'Can you hear the end of the world coming'? I don't think so.." She says. "I can check from the computer if you..-"  
"No thanks, I'm alright.." I smile. "Thanks anyway."  
"You're welcome." Cashier says.  
I technically run out of the bookstore.  
Then I just pick random passerby and almost yell at them "Can you hear the end of the world coming?" which obviously makes me sound like a total lunatic but I guess that's kind of the point of this dare. I yell the same thing to the next passerby. She looks terrified.  
"Okay, three out of three done." I say to my camera. "Now I have to find that guy...."  
No luck for first few minutes, but after I've wandered around the mall for awhile I see him. He's cute, with his messy hair. But also kind of intimidating, since he's so tall and is wearing all-black. He's standing next to a boy about our age, who's filming him. I run to him and the boy with the phone starts filming me.  
"Can you hear the end of the world coming?" I ask with enthusiasm. I am so close to getting my books.  
"Uh.. Yeah." Chase answers.  
"Do it now." The other boy says. Chase nods to him and then he grabs me into his arms. For a moment I think I'm being kidnapped, but then he presses his lips into mine. I remember the last part of my dare. As he lets me go, I fall onto my knees.  
"Please, save me, please, I beg you." I don't know how convincing I sound, but I did it. People are staring at us, so obviously I blush. I stand up and stop filming. So does the boy with Chase's cell phone.  
"So, you took the 'kiss a stranger' dare?" I say.  
"Nope, this came from NERVE. They wanted me to kiss you."  
"Oh, okay." I say. "Well, it's done now."  
"Yup." He says and smiles. "Sorry I didn't give you any warning about it."  
"It's okay, I mean, I knew you were completing a dare too so it doesn't matter."  
"We need to go." The other boy states.  
"Oh, okay. Well.. See ya." Chase says to me.  
"Yeah, maybe." I smile. I click my user profile on the NERVE-website. I see my books on the WON PRIZES section. I'd high five myself if it wasn't embarrassing. Plus, I just had my first kiss. From a total stranger. If that isn't living a little then what is?

  
Chapter 2: "You suck at small-talk"

In my car I dial Willow's number and call.  
"Harper! Is everything ok?" She asks. I guess I don't call her too often if her first thought is that I'm not okay.  
"Yeah, amazing actually." I say. "Listen Willow, I may have completed another dare for NERVE."  
"You did? That is super exciting!" She says. "What did you do?"  
"Just ran around the mall asking people about the end of the world." I roll my eyes. "And also I met this guy NERVE wanted me to meet."  
"Really? Was he hot?"  
"I guess." I say. "We kissed."  
"You what?"  
"Just watch the dare, okay? And his too. He had a friend filming us so his video should be clearer."  
"What's his name?"  
"Chase."  
"I call you after I've watched them, okay?"  
"Yeah, I'll drive home in the meantime."

I am at the door when she calls me back.  
"Harper!!!!!!" Willow screams to my ear. I just laugh. I kick the sneakers from my feet and walk to my room.  
"He's so hot! Did you talk to him?" Willow asks. "After the video I mean."  
"Yeah we talked. Not much." I say. "He said 'see ya' when he left."  
"I am so proud of you, this was your second prelim dare already! And people have really liked your videos? They say you're cute."  
"Oh. Well, to be honest I did it just for books!" I say as I lay down on my bed.  
"Huh?"  
"Yeah, well I did the first dare because Mr Edley advised me to "live a little". And the prize for second dare was all of the books from my amazon wish list."  
"That's insane! I mean for normal people it's mean like three books but you have like, what, fifty of them?"  
"Seventy." I correct her.  
"See? Insane!" She laughs. "So, do you plan on doing more dares? I could film you."  
"I'm not sure. Maybe I'll pick some easy dare and I'll do that, but after that I will stop."  
"Hey do you want me to come there? We could pick your next dare together!"  
"Where's Calvin?" I ask.  
"Ugh, he's filming dares with Noah." She says. Willow doesn't exactly love it when her boyfriend prefers someone else's company over hers. She's not possessive or anything, she's just like that.  
"You can come." 

In twenty minutes she's on my doorstep. She hugs me.  
"I am so proud of you!" Willow says.  
"Yeah, um, I guess you've said that to me a few times already."  
"What does it feel like?" She asks.  
"Completing a dare?" I ask and she nods. "I get an adrenaline rush. I know it's stupid because my dares haven't been exactly bad, but it just feels good and exciting, you know?"  
"I can only imagine." She smiles. Willow is so sweet? She's so kind and supportive and well, she just makes me feel loved. She's more outgoing than I am, but it doesn't feel like were in different social categories or anything.  
"I know it's weird that I do this." I say. "I mean, you know me. I just.. It's nice to do something different? And I've had all the control during my dares so it hasn't been too hard on me."  
"That's good." She smiles. "So, let's pick you a next dare, won't we?"  
"Yeah, sure." I smile and start scrolling the optional dares again.  
"How about that one?" She asks.

Walk to the nearest Starbucks and ask the most attractive guy out there to buy you a latte, then sit with him on the same table and make small-talk.

"Doesn't sound too bad?" I nod. "But walk there, what's up with that?"  
"I don't know. But it's only like fifteen minutes or so, we should get going." She smiles. I accept the dare and walk to the door. I grab my backpack and put it on, I'd feel almost naked without it. She makes me glance at the mirror before I go, and insists on putting me her lipstick.  
We start walking.  
"So, you're still coming tomorrow?" Willow asks. "To Dave's party."  
"Yeah, sure." I say. "I mean I don't plan on really playing this game. I've watched it and I have no interest in competing in finale, that's just crazy."  
"Okay. I'm really happy you're coming, it's going to be so much fun."  
"I hope so." I smile.  
"And maybe that guy - Chase - makes it to finales, then we'll be watching him too!"  
"Yeah, that'd be cool." I'm not very good at even imagining what's it like in that party. I mean, I've never been to a house party before. I'm not so good with boys and dancing and drinking... Totally up to it, though. My absence in all the previous parties have been only because I thought that it'd be more important to work on my book. Yesterday I learned that best thing I can do for my book right now is to go to a party, so I guess I'll go.  
"What are you thinking about?" Willow asks. I guess I've been quiet for awhile.  
"My book."  
"I'm sure Mr Edley loved it! He just needs to give you something feedback, you know, push you to do even better."  
"You're right. I took it pretty hard yesterday." I admit. "But it made me do my first dare. And after that I won over seventy books I can read to gain more inspiration and skills."  
"I don't think that Mr Edley meant reading more books when he advised you to live a little." She laughs.  
"I guess that's true." I laugh too. "That's why I'm coming to that party with you. To live a little."

After fifteen minutes of walking, we reach the Starbucks.  
"So.. Who is the most good looking guy here?" Willow asks.  
"I honestly don't know.." We walk around the cafe for few times. Just when we've done our third round the door opens.  
"Chase!" I whisper to Willow.  
"Okay..." She says knowingly. "Now go talk to him, Harper."  
I hand her my cell phone and she opens the camera.  
"I can't, I'm too nervous." I say.  
"Shut up, you already kissed today!" Willow answers. "And look! He has someone filming him too. He'll understand it's just a dare. Plus, do you see anyone better looking here? Answer honestly."  
"No I don't." I roll my eyes. "Here we go again."  
I walk to Chase.  
"Hi."  
"Trinity!" Chase looks at me surprised.  
"Do you want to buy me a latte?" I ask.  
"Um, sure." He says. We walk into the counter. "Hello. Two lattes, please." The boy filming him and Willow are right after us. We get our lattes and we sit to the table next to the window. Willow and the boy with the cell phone sit to the table next to us.  
"So.. Nice weather." I say.  
"Yeah, so nice. I'm glad it's not raining."  
"Me too.." I nod. "Um, have you, read any good books lately?"  
"You suck at small-talk." He says.  
"I know." I laugh and roll my eyes. "You try!"  
Soon after that Willow and the boy with Chase's cell phone stop filming. I go back to drinking my latte. Willow hands me my phone back and I'm positively surprised when I see that my walking-asking-coffee-small-talk -dare has won me 300 dollars. Ridiculously easy money.

We continue drinking our lattes in silence. Willow went to order lattes for her and the other boy too.  
"So, what's your name?" I ask from the other boy.  
"I'm Bret."  
"I'm Harper." I say.  
"Wait, I thought your name was Trinity?" Chase says.  
"Trinity is my middle name. And before you say anything, yes, my parents loved matrix." I explain rolling my eyes. "Everyone calls me Harper though, I don't think even my friends know that my middle name is Trinity."  
"Okay. Which one you prefer?" Chase asks.  
"I don't know. Which one suits me better?" I ask. Am I flirting with him?  
"I don't know yet. But if I go to order us second lattes and we get to know each other a bit better, I might be able to tell you soon." He says. Is he flirting with me?  
"Sound's good to me." I smile. Willow comes back with two lattes as Chase stands up and walks back to the counter. He hasn't ordered anything yet when he glances at his phone and turns right back to us.  
"Check your phone." He says. I do it.

Go to the city with Chase and find the highest building you can. Throw something down from the roof. 

"I don't have my car." I say. Also, standing on top of the highest building we can find doesn't sound very tempting to me.  
"I have my mom's car." Chase says.  
"Um.. Okay." I nod.  
"Check the prize, Harper." Willow says. I tap the link.  
"Oh! It's a trip to New York, for two.." I sigh. It sounds lovely. Me and Willow have been planning a weekend getaway for months now.  
"You need to do this." She says. I know it isn't a command but I know how much she wishes this trip to come true. "The apartment looks so good and it includes a gift card to spa too! Please, Harper, I'll love you forever."  
"You already love me forever." I point out. Willow rolls her eyes laughing.  
"Please." She adds.  
"I'll do it." I smile and stand up. "Are you guys coming?" I ask from Willow and Bret.  
"Yeah, I guess you'll need someone to film that too." Bret says. We leave the Starbucks and Chase leads us to his car. Me and Willow take the backseats and Bret takes the passenger seat (so he could film both me and Chase). Bret and Willow start filming when Chase starts the car.  
"So, what are we going to throw?" I ask.  
"I didn't even think about that." Chase admits. "Do you have anything you want to get rid of?"  
"No, all I have is my book.. And that's not happening, sorry, I've spent too much time on it."  
"You're writing a book?" Chase asks.  
"Yeah." I nod. "But it's not a big deal and not even finished yet.."  
"It is!" Willow says. "I've read it, it's really good."  
"Let's not talk about it." I say. I don't feel too comfortable talking about my writing on the video. "I'm not even sure if it's good."  
"I'm sure it's good." Chase says. "But it's okay if you don't want to talk about it." Why is he so nice to me? Was he dared to do this? But then again, what difference does it make? We're both doing this just to win our prizes.  
He stops the car and we head to the supermarket.  
"I guess we could throw something edible?" I say.  
"Good point." Chase says. "Eggs it is."  
We walk down the aisle and grab an egg package. Willow and Bret come few steps behind us. I pay for the eggs, we go out and turn our eyes up.  
"That building is pretty big." I say and point to the apartment house near us.  
"That'll do." Chase nods. He stuffs the eggs to my backpack and we enter the building pretending to look for our friend. In the elevator we both stare ourselves on the mirror. Bret and Willow stand awkwardly while filming us trough the mirror.  
We have to take the stairs for three last floors. Chase opens the door and I walk to the roof. This building isn't more than 30 floors high, but it sure feels higher. I'm not sure if I'm afraid of heights or is this just a normal reaction.  
"You afraid?" Chase asks.  
"No!" I say.  
"Don't worry." He says and takes the eggs from my backpack. "I'll hold your hand."  
I take his hand. We both take one eggs and throw them down. After that Chase pours the whole package down. We watch as the eggs fall and break. He high-fives me as our friends stop filming us.  
"Thanks, you just won a trip to New York for us!" Willow screams and runs to hug me. Chase walks to Bret and glances at his phone. He smiles. I wonder what he won, what was my trip to New York for him.  
"Can you drive us home?" I ask.  
"Yeah, sure." 

On our way back we're all relaxed and happy.  
"Hey, we're going to a party tomorrow night, do you guys want to join us?" Willow asks.  
"Sounds good." Bret smiles. "Chase?"  
"My plan is to continue playing." Chase answers. He sounds very serious saying that. "If I don't make it to the finale, I'll come."  
"Great, I'll text you the address." Willow says. "Bret, give me your phone number."  
He does and Willow texts him Dave's address.  
"Trinity?" Bret says.  
"Huh?"  
"Will you continue playing?"  
"I think I'm done with NERVE." I say. "I doubt I'd be even chosen to finales."  
"It's nice that some of us have the choice." Chase mumbles. He doesn't sound mean. Just tired.  
"What do you mean?" I ask. "Is someone.. Forcing you to play?"  
"No, nothing like that." Chase says.  
"Things aren't too well at his family. NERVE can offer some solutions to their um, problems, so it's worth the risk." Bret explains.  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Chase. I hope everything ends up being alright." I say.  
"Thanks, I really appreciate that."  
He stops at my house.  
"So.. We might see again tomorrow?" I ask. "At the party."  
"Yeah, we'll see." Chase nods.  
Willow says her goodbyes to boys and Bret waves his hand to me.  
"Good job earning that trip and 300 dollars shopping money for us!" Willow laughs after the car leaves.  
"Yeah, that was pretty easy!" I agree.

  
Chapter 3: "I'll just go and sell my underwear and then come to the party"

Friday

I scroll down the NERVE website as I eat my breakfast in silence. I've checked comments from my and Chase's videos, both have gained hundreds of comments. Comments are mostly positive, people seem to "ship" us. Of course there are some inappropriate ones too, but this is internet and I shouldn't be too surprised about it. I'm watching Calvin's latest video when my phone rings. When I reach to my phone I accidentally push over my glass of orange juice. On the keyboard of my computer. I actually scream out loud.  
"Thanks a lot, Willow" I answer the phone. To make this clear, I do not actually blame her.  
"What's wrong?" She asks immediately.  
"Ugh, I just poured orange juice on the keyboard."  
"Oh my god, what about your book?"  
"Don't worry, I have a physical copy" I say. One thing to be happy about, at least. "Now I only have to worry about 1000 dollar repair, or buying a new one."  
"Good thing you won all that money yesterday." Willow points out.  
"Yeah but it's not even nearly as much as I need." I complain.  
"You will have time to think about that later." She says.  
"You're right. Why did you call me?"  
"I just thought I'd ask if we could get ready together for the party tonight?"  
"Yeah that sounds good. Do you want to come to my place?"

We're back from school 4 PM. We eat early dinner together and then start getting ready for the party. Willow lends me one of her party dresses. It's quite short and pretty tight, so it isn't really my style. I feel gorgeous wearing it. Willow is curling my hair when she gets a text from Bret.  
"Harper! Chase made it to the finales!" She says all excited.  
"Good for him." I smile. Of course it would've been nice to meet him today. But with whatever is going on in his family, he needs the prizes. Willow finishes making my hair and starts curling her own. I move on to the makeup. I don't do this often but I think makeup is fun.  
"What do you think?" I ask after I've perfected my eyebrows.  
"You have such a good eyebrow game" Willow says. "It makes me almost mad."  
I roll my eyes and go find my phone to take some selfies.  
There's a message from NERVE. 

Hi Trinity!  
You've gotten far with your prelim dares and we would like to invite you to this months NERVE finale. Before you decline, please click the following link to see what your first prize would be.

I click the link and see a brand new MacBook. It's beautiful. My current (uh I mean previous) laptop is few models older than this one. I close the link to see what my dare would be.

To win your prize you just need to hop on the first car that stops in front of your house. When you've reached your location you need to take off your underwear and sell it to someone for 50 dollars.

"Hey, Willow, check this out!" I walk to her and show her my phone.  
"What the hell" She laughs. "That's just bizarre."  
"Yeah it is." I say. "I think I'm going to do it though."  
"What? Are you serious?"  
"Yeah. I mean, it would solve my laptop problem."  
"But getting in to a strangers car? And then selling your underwear? That's not like you at all."  
"And kissing strangers and throwing eggs from rooftops is?"  
"No, it's not.." She sighs. "I just, that stuff is innocent."  
"And so is this!" I reassure. "I'm sure that the car I'm supposed to go is some other players' and I'm selling my underwear, not myself! And I would get a new laptop!"  
"Would you come to the party after that?" She asks.  
"Of course." I promise. "I'll just go and sell my underwear and then come to the party."  
That's definitely a sentence I never thought I'd say.  
I go to NERVE website and accept my spot as a player. I accept the dare. I download the NERVE app on my phone. It says that I have only few minutes until the car should come.  
"Okay, so.. I'm going to grab my backpack and.. what do I need? Oh, um, could you take my heels with you to the party, I'll put some sneakers on..."  
"Put on another panties!" Willow says quickly.  
"What?"  
"So that even after you've sold it you'll have some underwear. And make sure you don't sell the ones you love the most."  
"Good thinking." I nod and run to my drawers. I put on another underwear. "Okay, I have my backpack, a hoodie, double-underwear, sneakers.. All good."  
"See ya at the party!" Willow says.  
"See ya!" I say as I slam the door behind me and run to the car waiting me. 

I sit on the car without even checking what's it like. Car starts and I turn to look at the driver. A familiar face greets me.  
"Chase!"  
"Hi." He smiles at me. "I'm glad you decided to do this."  
"Yeah, me too. I mean, the prize is going to be handy.." I blabber. "I'm happy to see you. I mean, I wasn't sure who'd pick me up..-"  
"You're honestly surprised about this?" He laughs. "Because I kind of saw this coming."  
"Yeah, they really tried to pair us up yesterday.." I laugh too.  
"They didn't fail." He says, his eyes on the road. There's a few minutes of silence.  
"Soo, what do you need to do?" I ask. "Because I'm going to sell my panties and I want you to do something as embarrassing as that."  
"We're going to the grocery store and I'll lick some fruits." He states.  
"Ew." I say. "Also, not even nearly as embarrassing as my dare."  
"I know it sounds easier but um, I'm not big fan of bacteria.."  
"Yeah, well, I'm not a big fan of taking off my underwear in a public place but I guess we'll just have to do what we'll have to do." I laugh. He looks at me and smiles.  
"You look good."  
"Oh, thanks. This is Willow's dress."  
"It suits you."  
"We were just getting ready for that party." I tell.  
"Are you still going to that?" He asks.  
"Yeah, I try to make it." I nod. "I'm not much of a party girl and well, gaining even some of those experiences would be good for me."  
He nods as he parks the car in front of the grocery shop.  
"Um, just to be clear, I have to sell my underpants.. In a grocery store?" I ask.  
"I guess so."  
"That can't be hygienic."  
"That's how I feel about my dare too."  
We come out of the car and walk to the store.  
"Let's just try to get this done quickly, okay?" I ask.  
He nods and we start filming. The fruit stands are on one of the first departments in the whole store we decide to do his dare first.  
"How many do you need to do?"  
"Seven."  
"Okay. Be quick."  
I film him as he walks next to and apple stand. He picks one up and licks it (quite passionately, may I add). It makes me laugh, but also grosses me off little bit. He puts the apple back and licks three more apples. There's an old lady besides him who looks disgusted by his actions. I guess she's too shocked or something to complain. He moves on to a stand with bananas on it.  
"This should be good." I laugh. He licks two bananas and moves over when someone is heading his way. "Five out of seven done, he's doing a good job!"  
He walks casually next to a stand full of watermelons stacked into a pyramid and gives one a good, long lick. Then he sees a shop assistant coming his way. Without warning he starts running. On his way he grabs an orange with him. I follow him as fast as I can while trying to get good video at the same time. The shop assistant didn't bother to run after us, but it was clear that he had seen what Chase was doing so we better hurry. Chase licks the orange and then tosses it to one of the freezers.  
"Seven out of seven done" He smiles at the camera. "Your turn."  
"Okay." I sigh. We're by the freezers with lots of meat in them. I guess this is the optional place to find perverts who'd like to buy underaged girls' panties.  
Chase is filming me as I take a deep breath and start taking my panties off. It's harder than I thought since my dress is really tight and well, taking just one out of the two underwear I'm wearing is a bit tricky. After few minutes of struggling I manage to successfully strip down from my black lace panties. I've gained attention of few middle aged men, but no one is being direct about it. I feel so stupid and wrong doing this, but I walk up to a man closest to me and smile at him with my panties on my hand.  
"Hi."  
"Hi." He answers.  
"Would you like to buy these?" I ask.  
"I have kids about your age." He says.  
"So?" I feel so bad. "Would you? Just fifty bucks."  
"Leave me alone." He groans. I roll my eyes to the camera. Chase is quietly laughing at me.  
I shrug my shoulders and keep going.  
"Hey, would you like to buy my undies?" I ask the next man.  
"How much?" He asks.  
"Fifty bucks." I say.  
"That's a lot." He looks at me.  
"Have you seen how much used undies cost on the internet?" I ask. "Over hundred bucks. And I'm still underaged to that'd raise the price too."  
He looks at me with a stupid impression on his face.  
"This is a good deal."  
"I don't think so."  
I move on.  
"Hey, handsome." I smile to a much younger man.  
"Hi, cutie." He says. "Um, you've got your undies on your hand."  
"Yes. That's only because I'm trying to sell them." He looks at me confused. "See, I really need 50 bucks. Like really. And I read about how some girls make money by selling their underwear to strangers and decided to give it a go."  
"Do you.. want me to buy it?" He asks.  
"Would you?"  
"Um.. I have a fiancee."  
"You could give these to her." I say. "These are Victoria's Secret and I've used them like twice." That was a lie, of course.  
"Why would I buy used underwear for my fiancee?"  
"Well, first of all you wouldn't need to tell her that these are used." I say. "And wouldn't it be kind of hot that every time you take these underwear off of her, you'd think of me?" I lower my voice seductively, hoping that the camera still gets it. The man freezes and just stares at me. I can see him looking at my body and calculating if it was worth it.  
"Okay, I'll buy them." He says. "Fifty bucks, wasn't it?"  
"Yeah."  
He slams the money on my hand, takes the undies and stuffs them to his pocket.  
"Have a nice evening with your fiancee." I say and wink to him. I feel bad doing this, but deep down inside this feels like a victory. He thought I was hot enough to be even a little bit disloyal to his future wife! Which, of course, is not a good thing. I smile at the camera and Chase stops filming.  
"Good job!" He says as we take off. I bet the salesperson would love to run to us again. 

When we're back at his car, I can't help but laugh.  
"...and when the other man turned you down I thought that it was over, I mean, he looked like he of all people knew how much money is too much for undies" He laughs. "But then your tactic on that last one was just flawless, you flirted with him and played innocent at the same time!"  
"Thank you." I laugh. "That was insane. I feel bad for his fiancee though."  
"Well, you can't blame him." Chase says. "I mean, you were seriously hot."  
I roll my eyes but can't help but smile. I think this was the first time someone has called me hot.  
"So, do you plan to keep playing?" He asks.  
"What time is it?"  
"It's six thirty."  
"Only? The party hasn't even started yet."  
"We were quick."  
"I guess it can't hurt to do one more dare." I say. "I mean, it depends on what we need to do, of course."  
I notice a group of about fifteen people hanging twenty feet away from us.  
"Um, are they looking at us?" I ask.  
"Watchers." Chase states. "Didn't you notice them in the store?"  
"No. I guess I didn't pay attention to them.."  
Watchers see that we're looking at them. They wave. Chase waves his hand happily and I join in. The whole group of Watchers start walking to us. They all have their phones filming.  
Chase opens the window when the quickest ones are already behind it.  
"Hi!" I say.  
"You were so good out there, Trinity!" One of the Watchers say.  
"Thank you!" I smile. They start taking pictures.  
"I think we should get going" Chase says after like, ten pictures. "But I'm sure we'll meet later tonight!" I smile to our Watchers as Chase starts the car and drives away.

"What do you think?" He asks.  
"About what?"  
"Watchers."  
"Um, they're a bit creepy. But I know that they're a part of this and that we need to give them attention because without them this game is nothing."  
"Yeah, I'm not totally loving them either.." He states. "Have you played NERVE before?"  
"No, this is my first time. How about you?"  
"I've done some dares.. But this is my first time in finale."  
"Oh.. Okay. So this is something you really want, then?"  
"More like something I really need." He sighs. "Lets talk about something else. You're writing a book, aren't you?"  
"Yeah, I actually finished writing it about a week ago."  
"Are you trying to publish it?" He asks. His voice is so much softer than it was when he was talking about the Watchers. It feels strange how fast his expressions come and go.  
"Well, not yet." I shrug my shoulders. "My teacher said that it still needs changes and rewriting and that it can take a long time until it's good enough for publishing."  
"I'm sure it's alright." He says. "I mean, of course you need to work on it if you feel like it needs it. But don't do it because your teacher told you to."  
"Well, actually, he said that I should just forget writing for awhile."  
"Like, you're so bad please just forget it kind of way?"  
"No." I laugh. "He said that I should have a little break from writing and live a little."  
"Huh?"  
"Yeah. His exact words." I sigh. "Apparently my inexperience and virginity is something that shines trough my writing and is the reason why I can't write a believable piece of romance or action."  
My cheeks burn just thinking about it. And thinking about the fact that I am voluntarily telling a hot guy about my virginity.  
"Is that the reason why you're playing?" He asks.  
"Yeah. I thought I'd try something new, test myself." I say. "After all, my inexperience is because I've used all my free time working on my book."  
"And this is you working on your book as well." Chase smiles. "It's beautiful to see people being passionate about something. I can see how much you love to write."  
"Thanks." I nod. I'm not sure where I stand with this guy. We've kissed (on a dare), we've joked around and had some fun without really talking much. Meaningful stuff I mean. And even though Chase has made me feel good about myself he's been kind of scary, intimidating and a bit distant sometimes. Maybe it's just the way he's dressed or tired expression on his face when it's silent. Or maybe it's just that he plays NERVE and I don't know where I stand with this game.  
"So, what's your book about?" He asks.  
"The end of the world." I state. "It's got aliens."  
"Oh, cool! I love sci-fi." He smiles. "Tell me more."  
He has parked his car on the side of a street near the center.  
"I um, I actually have it with me. Do you want to see it?"  
"Yeah, I'd love to read it."  
"It's a bit too long to be read in one sitting but you could check out the first chapters.." I explain as I go trough my backpack. I hand the script to him. Then there's a silence. I use it to look around. It's getting darker, so my guess is that it's getting colder too. I take the hoodie from my backpack and throw it over the fancy dress I'm wearing. I take my phone from my backpack and check if I've gotten a new dare yet.  
"Hey um, I'll call Willow and tell her that I'm doing one more dare and then head to the party." He nods and keeps reading. I put the phone on my ear but it turns out there is no signal.  
"That's weird.." I mumble. "Does your phone work?"  
He glances at his phone.  
"Nope, no signal."  
He hands my book back to me.  
"What did you think?" I ask.  
"I loved it." He says. "I mean, I would love to read the whole book. And not just because I think you're cool." I laugh and roll my eyes. "I've always been fascinated by the end of the world. I mean, it's so horrifying that it's almost beautiful."  
"I've always thought the same!" I get all excited. "I mean, nature is so amazing and beautiful that even its death has to be almost hypnotic?"  
"My thoughts exactly." He smiles. "How do you think the end of the world will come?"  
"Um.. I don't know yet.. I like the alien idea but I don't actually think it's happening that way. Maybe the sun will burn out and we will be left without light? Or the world will radiate too close to the sun and the whole planet burns." I blabber. "I guess my favorite theories are related to the sun."  
"I like those too." He nods. "Space is so cool and terrifying, I mean, if anything goes wrong there it could so easily be the end of us."  
"You're right.." I agree. "Have you ever wondered how it sounds?"  
"The end of the world?"  
"Yeah. I mean, I know people always talk about how it looks, and I can't say I'm not fascinated about that, but what has always made me think is the sound of it."  
"That's pretty deep. It could be like, hundreds of trains passing by.. Or thunder."  
"Or complete silence." Right after that we hear a notification sound and the NERVE app opens itself in both of our cell phones. Great, just after we started bonding. 

Let him choose a tattoo for you.

"Um.. what's your dare?" I ask.  
"What, what's yours?"  
"It's uh, we need to go to some tattoo place."  
"Not just some. The one on this exact street."  
"What do you think?" I ask.  
"Did you check the prize?" He asks. I shake my head and check the link.  
"Okay I'll do it!" I say after I've seen what's behind the link.  
"What is it?" He asks. "If it's not too personal to ask."  
"A vacation to Argentina." I smile. "Two weeks! Everything paid!"  
"That's.. That's my mother's home country." He smiles.  
"Oh, that'a cool." I answer his smile. "And weird. I mean, I've always wanted to visit there."  
"And soon you will." Chase nods. "Just trust me, okay? I won't pick anything stupid, I promise. And you get to pick one for me."  
I smile at him as we get out of the car and start walking to the tattoo place. I try to brainstorm some ideas for his tattoo.. Something I knew he'd like (based on almost two day's we've known each others). Nothing too big, because that would take time and obviously would hurt a lot more too. Then I get an idea.

  
Chapter 4: "let's go sell some drugs and rob some addicts"

"Ready?" He asks.  
"I'm ready."  
The tattoo gun touches my neck and I try to force a smile since I'm on camera.  
"Just keep your eyes on me." Chase advices. "It'll be over soon."  
This is crazy. I've never even dreamt about getting a tattoo and now I'm sitting here with a scary looking man who's moving his tattoo gun on the back of my neck like it's just another normal day. Well, it is for him, I guess. But I don't even know what he's tattooing! For some reason I still trust Chase. I can't imagine him choosing a horrible tattoo for me. He's been too nice to make such a dick move. At least it's not big, and it'll be easy to hide since it's on the back of my neck. Chase is telling me about his favorite sic-fi books and I try to follow his story because it kind of takes my thoughts away from the pain. For some reason I can't understand everything he's saying. I recognize some of the books he's talking about but most of them I've never even heard of. Seems like he's very familiar with my genre, hopefully I don't let him down if he ever reads the rest of my book. He films me and I try to keep brave face even though this burns like hell.  
"It's done." The man with the tattoo gun says.  
"Great, let me see." Chase says and moves behind my back. He sounds excited. "Looks good, just as I imagined it."  
"Can I see now?" I ask.  
"I'll take a picture." I can hear that he's smiling. I hear the sound of my phone's camera. He shows the screen to me. It's a small text with pretty doodled stars around it "Oh, the apocalypse". It makes me laugh. Pretty close to what I had in mind for him.  
"It's perfect." I laugh. "Thank you, Chase."  
"You're welcome." He smiles. "Harper."  
"I'm more Harper than Trinity?"  
"Right now you are."  
There's a small moment of silence when we just look at each other. For a moment I think that we're going to kiss for real. Which is weird because, sure, he's hot, but I've never done anything like that no matter how hot the guy is.  
"My turn!" Chase says. He sounds excited. Hopefully he won't hate my tattoo for him.  
"Okay, um, you need to take your shirt off for that." He raises his eyebrows smiling at me. "And not just because I'd like to see it." I laugh. "I thought about it and your side is the best place for this."  
He keeps smiling at me all flirtatious and yanks his shirt over his shoulders. I roll my eyes at him even though he isn't bad to look at. I've given my instructions to the tattooist and now it's in his hands. He starts disinfecting Chase's side. I start the video. Chase smirks to the camera (or to me? I don't know). When the tattooist presses his tattoo gun to his skin, I see a tiny amount of pain in his eyes, but it goes away quickly. I guess he has gone trough some pain in his life.  
"How you doing there?" I say more to the camera than to him. It's pretty obvious that he's hurting.  
"I'm fine." He says.  
"You don't sound fine." I laugh.  
"I'm totally fine!" He insists and tries to flash me a smile.  
"Are those tears I see falling from your eyes?"  
"No."  
I laugh and he smiles to me. Not to the camera, to me.  
"Don't worry, it'll be done soon." I promise. I walk closer to him. Chase takes my hand. I let him squeeze mine as he tries his best to pretend to not feel any pain.  
This tattoo takes a bit more time than mine did, but isn't much bigger. And it's even more simple than mine was. When it's ready, I stop the video and post it to NERVE. Then I take a picture of his side to show him his tattoo from the right perspective.  
"You ready to see this?" I ask.  
"Yup." He nods. I show him the picture. He has "can you hear the end of the world coming?" on his side.  
"What do you think?"  
"Those um, those were your first words to me." He smiles.  
"I know." I nod. "But it's not about me. It's about you. You get so excited when you talk about sic-fi and the end of the world, it's something you've really thought about."  
"It's perfect." He nods and smiles to me. "Like, it matches yours and everything!"  
He puts his shirt on, we thank the tattooist and leave the tattoo store. We assume that NERVE has already paid them, because there was no discussion on prices and they were expecting us to be there. Outside the tattoo place he pulls me closer for a surprise hug.  
"Thanks, seriously." He says in a low voice. We've being filmed by Watchers, again. "That tattoo is really amazing and it has been so cool hanging out with you."  
I can't think of anything to say. But somehow I feels like he isn't really expecting me to say anything. We wave to our Watchers and go sit to his car. He drives it on the other street, further away from Watchers and then parks it again. It's already 8:22 and dark. We hear the notification sound and check on our phones. 

Make someone believe that you're going to sell drugs for them. 

I check the prize. 1000 dollars to my favorite clothing line. This dare is stupid, could be even dangerous (since drug addicts are what they are). But the prize seems to be worth it. Again. Then again, clothes don't really matter that much to me. I can't resist books or traveling, but I'm perfectly fine with my old clothes.  
"What do you think?" I ask.  
"I'm going to keep going." He says.  
"I'm not sure." I say. "I mean, don't get me wrong. This has been amazing. But I just, this dare seems a bit dangerous."  
"It is."  
"And I could just end this here. Walk away with two vacations, stack of books and a new laptop. And some cash. Also, a very cool tattoo. This prize is nice but I don't think I'd miss much if I quit now."  
"I understand you." He nods. "I um, If I were in your position, I would walk away."  
"But you're not."  
"I'm not. I can't walk away from this." He says. "And I really wish you didn't."  
"Wait.. If I quit, would you have to do so too?" I ask.  
"No, I could still keep going. It's just harder alone. And I really want to do this with you."  
"Can I ask you something?"  
"Shoot."  
"What makes you do all this? What have you won by now and why it isn't enough?"  
"I've won concert tickets, a car and a lot of cash." He says quietly. "But I haven't yet gotten what I really need."  
He hands his phone to me.

Steal money from someone.

I click the link under it. It says that NERVE will pay for all of his sister's hospital bills. I look at him. His dark eyes are filled with way more pain than earlier in the tattoo place.  
"What's.. um, what's wrong with your sister?" I ask.  
"Marianela has cancer." Chase says. His voice sounds so hollow. "She was only seven when they diagnosed it. She's thirteen at the moment and, um.. It's not critical right now but she has her ups and downs."  
"And you play this game to help her." I state.  
"Yeah. And my mother too, of course. She's not here legally and doesn't make much money.. So I've done some prelim dares this spring just to help her financially."  
"I'm sorry." I say. My head feels heavy and I want to cry. "I feel stupid now. I'm playing just for the experience, because I'm a whiny bitch who's upset because her teacher didn't like her work.."  
"There's nothing wrong with that." He says. "Really, don't feel bad. You're playing to reach your dreams. You're gaining experience and you won a laptop and a lot of books to inspire you and even those vacations can be seen to help you as writer, really."  
I look at him. He's serious about this.  
"You're brave for working on your dreams. Look at you, the moment your prize felt even a little bit shallow you started doubting if you should play this. That shows that you're not doing this for materialistic reasons."  
"What's your dream?" I ask.  
"I feel like I need to take care of my family." He says. "And I want to do it, too."  
"Is that what you want to do with your life later too?"  
"Well, yeah. I mean, hopefully there's time when I don't have to take care of mom and Marianela, and I have time to think about other things. I want to study. Philosophy and psychology, mostly. And of course I want my own family someday."  
"Sounds like a good dream." I nod. "Now, let's go sell some drugs and rob some addicts."  
"You're sure?" He asks. "I don't want to pressure you into anything."  
"I'm sure." I assure.  
"Even though it can be dangerous?"  
"I won't die." 

He starts the car and we drive in silence to an area we both usually do our best to stay away from. It's known for its' many drug dealers and multiple prostitutes. Not that there's anything wrong with being a prostitute. I watch the lights run by us and I can't help but feel good about how alive I felt. Is this what it's like for other people all the time? Living a little? I know I'm going to do something stupid and possibly dangerous, and that normally I would never go to that area (or even be out at this time of the day, to be honest) but it just feels good. I feel sad for Chase and his family, but for some reason this moment feels good because I feel sad. I feel close to him. And I feel nervous and excited and little bit scared and all of these feelings combined make me feel so alive and so good. No wonder I couldn't write my characters well. I hadn't lived even for a second until I chose to accept my first dare. I hadn't felt real feelings, all of them were just some kind of shadows or promises of what it's like to really feel. There are tears on my cheeks and I don't even realize it before Chase points them out.

"Are you okay?" He asks. "You're crying."  
"I'm good." I quickly wipe the tears away. "Seriously, I'm good. These are more of a happy tears."  
He looks at me but doesn't ask further questions. I go back to watching the lights.  
Chase parks the car.  
"So, I've thought this trough and here's what we're going to do" He says. "First you will go find us a 'victim'. You'll convince them that you have some crack or whatever and then you'll tell them to meet you behind that corner" he points at a corner of the closest building "in fifteen minutes, okay?"  
"Yeah." I nod.  
"You will have your phone on your hand for this whole time, because you'll be filming it yourself. Don't worry about how shaky or bad the material is, I bet the Watchers are taking much better videos anyway." He advices. "After that you will come back to this car and sit to the drivers place."  
"Where will you be?"  
"I'm somewhere behind the corner you're supposed to meet him." He says. "When the victim is there with their money ready, I'm going to grab it and run like hell."  
"That sounds.. risky?"  
"Do you have better ideas?" Chase asks.  
"Nope."  
"I'll run to the car and they won't hopefully catch me. And then we'll drive away from this place."  
"Good plan. Especially that last part, driving as far away as we can from this place."  
"You sure you don't want to quit?" He asks. "It's still possible."  
"I'm not quitting. We're gonna win this thing."  
He looks at me impressed.  
"What?" I ask. "I simply don't know how to lose. I've never lost any game in my live. And you've suffered enough. It's time that you won too."  
Chase smiles at me and lifts my hood to my head.  
"Be careful out there."  
We lock the car behind us and he gives me the keys. Then he walks away from me. 

I think it's only wise to wait for couple of minutes until the crowd on the street has moved around little bit. I don't want them to link me with anyone. I watch my reflection of a window and note that I look just trashy enough for this street - I have tight, beautiful dress, big black hoodie and sneakers. My make up isn't oh-so-perfect anymore, because I've ran and sweat and cried. After few minutes have passed, I start walking around and eyeing the people on this street. There are few prostitutes waiting for potential customers. A lot of random, shady people. I don't know where to start. I don't want anyone who looks like they know a lot about this stuff. I mean it's obvious that everyone on this street knows more than I know, but more experienced drug users might suspect something. And I don't want our victim to be too strong or fast-looking. I mean, the weaker they are, better chances for Chase to get to the car untouched. Then there's also the money issue, I mean, drugs cost a lot? I need to go to someone who could potentially afford drugs. But not the way that they would be extremely familiar with common prices of drugs. Gosh, this is starting to feel impossible. Okay, I just need to relax and pick someone. Anyone. I close my eyes, turn around and open them. The first one my eyes meet is youngish, skinny man. He's dressed like everyone else around here, so he doesn't look very classy. I nod to myself and start the video. I walk up to him.  
"Hey" I try to flirt. "What's your name?"  
"Everyone calls me the Bender." He answers. I doubt that, but I keep the flirty smile on my face.  
"Oh" I giggle. "I was kinda hoping for you to bend me over." I feel disgusted to hear myself saying that. I feel even more disgusted when he tries to touch my waist. I avoid it by taking his hand. It's dirty and sweaty and I'm thankful that it didn't touch the dress.  
"What, you want me to pay you first?" He asks.  
"No, no, I'm not a hooker, silly!" I force a laugh.  
"So you're free, then?"  
"Yeah, um, actually, I've got some crack I need to get rid of, it'd be great if you bought that.. But after that, well, you're free to do anything you want to me and it won't cost you a dollar."  
"How much?" He asks.  
"How much do you have?"  
"I've got hundred and fifty bucks."  
"Sounds like we have a deal." I wink at him. "Let's meet behind that corner in fifteen minutes."  
"Can't wait." He says caressing my cheek.  
"Me neither." I smile and force his hand from my cheek. "I'll just go and clean up little bit."  
He nods and start's making his way to the spot we're supposed to meet. I hurry back to the car and pray that he's not faster than he looks like. I sit to the drivers place and start the car and the time seems to stop. Chase should be here any minute. I feel nauseous after my talk with "the Bender", I feel nauseous because he touched me. The way he looked at me. Now I get why some women hate to be desirable. It takes some of their power away. 

Chase practically jumps in the car. I start driving immediately.  
"How did it go?" I ask. He waves 150 dollars in his hand.  
"I suppose you did good too?"  
"It was disgusting." I admit. "I promised to have sex with him."  
"I'm sorry."  
"You should've seen the way he looked at me! Like I was his property or something." It makes me so mad and somehow powerless to even think about it. I've just tonight felt how it feels to be free and someone has already wanted to take it away from me. I know that this wasn't even a big deal. I know that this kind of stuff happens all the time and in much bigger scales, too - but it doesn't take away my anger. I see with the side of my eye that he's opening the NERVE app on his phone. He scrolls down to see my dare, filmed by one of my Watchers. I feel sick to my stomach when I hear the conversation again. My voice does sound pretty convincing, even to me.  
"You sure know how to flirt." Chase notes.  
"I swear I've never flirted with anyone in my entire life until tonight." I say more to myself than to him. He keeps watching the video. When it's over he puts his phone away and looks at me.  
"I'm sorry you had to do that." He says. "I know you weren't going to do the dare in the first place, I'm sorry I made you do it."  
"But your sisters hospital bills are now paid, right?"  
"Yes."  
"It was worth it." I say. "Where do I drive?"  
"It's about 9:30" He says. "How about we drive to that party of yours?"  
"You're not going to keep playing?"  
"I got what I wanted. Now is a good time to walk away."  
I smile at him and speed up. 

  
Chapter 5: "This is no Empire State Building."

In fifteen minutes we're there. At the party. At my first party. I take off my hoodie and stuff it to my backpack.  
"I'll leave this here if it's okay?"  
"It's okay." He nods. Then he waits while I fix my makeup and try to do something to my hair.  
"You look good." He says.  
"You're just saying that because all the crazy shit we've been trough tonight." I laugh. We leave the car behind us and walk to the party. It's crowded. I take his hand so I won't lose him. We make our way to the living room, where we find a lot of people dancing, making out and staring at the big screen where a small, black girl is running away from something.  
"It's Trinity!" Some girl screams. "And Chase is with her!"  
Some people turn to look at us. We just stand there awkwardly hand in hand. Willow comes out of nowhere to hug me.  
"Harper Trinity James, I was so worried of you!" She lets me go and looks at me. "But also, I'm super proud. Calvin quit the moment he would've had to drive the wrong way on a highway. Turns out he's a coward just like me." She rolls her eyes.  
"I couldn't call you, I would've told you that I was going to do one more dare.." I try to explain. She looks a bit suspicious first, but soon she seems to believe me. She means so much to me and I hate to think that I really made her worry about me.  
"Well, luckily I saw what you were doing and knew you were alright." She nods. "That bender guy was nasty."  
"Yeah, I know." I make a disgusted face.  
"You were good, Chase." Willow says. "Well played."  
"It was all Harper." He looks at me. "It would've been hella hard without you there."  
"But you're done now?" Willow asks both of us.  
"Well, we've decided to quit the game." Chase nods.  
"We haven't gotten our next dare though. So the guys who make the game don't really know it yet."  
Willow takes me to dance floor. She laughs and I start to feel better again  
After few dances I see Chase checking his phone. He looks at me scared.  
"We should go somewhere private." He says. I excuse myself from Willow's company and we find a bedroom. He sits on the bed.  
"Check your phone."  
I do it.  
"Another dare."  
"I know I already said that I'd quit.. But this is too big to just ignore." He says.

Go to the building you went to yesterday. Hang on the edge of the roof for thirty seconds. 

"This doesn't seem wise.." I mumble, but click the link to see my prize anyway. I should know by now that the prize will make the dare seem worth it.  
"Oh my god." I whisper. They would fly me to London to meet J.K. Rowling. I look up and meet his eyes.  
"Do you want to do this?" He asks.  
"If you're doing it, I'm definitely in."  
"I need to do this, Harper. I assume that you have a choice here."  
"I have, yeah, but this is something I really want. This has been a dream of mine since forever and I doubt that this could ever happen without NERVE. I know the dare is unwise and everything, but aren't I supposed to do everything I can to reach my dreams?"  
"This is about writing again, isn't it?" He asks.  
"Yes." I nod. "And it's worth it, I'm sure."  
"But this can be seriously dangerous." He stands up and takes a step closer. "You could die."  
"And you're going to do it anyway." I say. I don't know what the prize is for him but knowing the situation in his family I can tell he really needs it. He looks at me, telling me to quit the game without actually saying anything. "I'm not letting you do this by yourself. You said it yourself, these dares are harder to do alone. And I really want this prize. And why do you care about me anyway?"  
"Because for some reason I want to protect you too. This has been a crazy night and we've grown closer and after seeing you with "the bender" I just can't stand the idea of something bad happening to you, okay?" He sounds seriously mad. "Think about it again, Harper. Are you really going to do this?"  
"You said it yourself, we've grown closer to each others." I say. I find myself raising my voice. He's not the only one who's sounding mad. "I know it sounds stupid but I want to protect you too, so I don't want you to do this without me!" I don't know which one of us takes the step closer to another and I don't know which one of us starts kissing but I wrap my arms around his neck and he lifts me up from my waist for a moment I forget about the dare and that we're kind of fighting. I'm just enjoying my real first kiss at my first party. Like a normal teenager. For a moment I'm feeling all the feelings again, feeling free and alive. I can feel how strong his arms are around my waist and I can sense how soft and gentle his heart is.  
And then the moment is gone. He lets me back down and looks at me.  
"I'm sorry." He says. "I um, I shouldn't have done that."  
"It's okay." I feel somehow numb. After all the feelings, theres nothing but numbness. "We should get going."  
"You're right." We both click the neon pink ACCEPT. Then we leave the party without telling anyone. I know I should have told Willow about the dare and about the prize and about the kiss - especially about the kiss - but it just felt little off. I feel somehow broken and I want to be in Chase's arms again, even though I'm aware of the fact that we met only yesterday and that there's a perfectly good chance that he isn't even that into me. The hell I know. I'm not the kind of girl to daydream about strong arms around my waist. On the other hand, I'm not the kind of girl to hang on the edge of the buildings either and here I am on my way to do that.

"I think we can do this." I say after ten minutes of silence. I don't know if he's still mad at me. Or if he's regretting kissing me. Either way, now is not the best time to think about how we feel about each other. We should keep NERVE as our main priority because we're talking about big prizes now. And when there's big prizes on the table it means dangerous dares. "You need to go first."  
"How so?"  
"Because then I still have strength to help you up. I'm pretty sure that you're stronger than me. If I go first and use all my strength for it, I might not be able to help you if you need it." I say.  
"Good thinking."  
"You'd still have some strength left after you've done, and, I'm smaller than you so lifting me up doesn't require as much energy from you as it does from me to lift you up."  
He nods.  
"We can do this." I repeat. He's not giving me anything in return. Is he mad at me? Or am I that horrible kisser? Wait, stop thinking about it, focus on the dare. It's what matters right now. He parks the car and gets out of the car. I follow him, we're still not talking. On the elevator I need to try to clean the air.  
"Chase, are you mad at me for being here?"  
"No." He shakes his head. "I'm kind of mad at myself."  
"And why is that?"  
"You're not going to love the answer."  
"Tell it anyway."  
"Because I let you come with me." He admits. "I don't want to argue with you, really, I understand your motives to be here and I respect it and I am going to let you do this. I just.. I guess it would be easier for me to do this by myself."  
"And not have anyone to help you up?"  
"That's not what I mean." He rolls his eyes. Almost smiling. "I'm just saying that even though I can't stop you from doing this, I'm hoping that I could because I care about you."  
"You, um, you do know that I am doing this partly because I care about you too?"  
"Yeah, I know that." He nods.  
"We've gotten along so well tonight, it was about time we disagreed about something." I say. "It's not like the end of the world."  
He glances at me and smiles briefly.

It's a bit windy up here. I feel awful when I watch down. There are easily over sixty Watchers on the street, waiting us either succeed or die. I know what you think about, thirty floors, that's nothing compared to skyscrapers in New York. I try to calm down thinking about Empire State Building and how this isn't even one third of it, but it's still over 90 meters.  
"You're still sure you want to do this?" He asks. Not so sure anymore. Definitely not so sure. But again I try to keep the brave face (this time for him, not for camera).  
"Yeah, I'm sure." I nod. "This is no Empire State Building."  
"You sound really convincing." He laughs.  
"I'm serious. I'm going to do this." What am I doing? I'm terrified. This game is dangerous and stupid and to be honest I have no idea how I ended up in this situation.  
"Listen, you don't need to do this."  
"Yeah but I can do this. I know I can. And I will do this, too. I'm not going to die." I pause for few seconds. "Well, if I die, I die reaching for my dreams. And that's a good way to go."  
To be honest I can't see anything good about going this way. If I fall, it's going to be just my corpse in the middle of Watchers, all of their cell phones filming me. I know they've rooted for me and they're on my side, but just as long as I'm alive and doing something to entertain them. They're probably going to get paid for taking a video of my very last moments.  
But it's too late now. I've made it very clear to Chase that I want to do this. I want to win. I would be such a shitty perfectionist if I didn't want to win. 

"Okay. Let's do this then." He nods. He takes off his leather jacket and walks to the edge.  
I take my cell phone ready.  
"I'll stop filming when 30 seconds have passed. Then I'll just, toss the phone somewhere and come to you." I say. "It's just 30 seconds."  
"I trust you."  
He squats down and tries to place his hands in a good way.  
"You ready?" Chase asks. I nod. I don't think I've ever been so afraid. He nods and climbs down and I start the video. I walk closer to the edge, so I get him on camera. I'd talk to him, but I figure that it'll be easier for him to focus only on his grip on the edge. My hands are a bit shaky. My brain is going trough all the ways I could fuck this up - like what if I accidentally drop the phone and it hits him on the head and he falls? Dies because of me? I take a step back, just in case. Only ten seconds gone. I can see him struggling to find strength to keep on, but all I can do to help him is to pray that he'll find it. He's strong, I can tell that he's been working out. How hard can it be to hang on something for thirty seconds? That's not even a minute!  
"Ten seconds left!" I whisper. I can see the Watchers focusing on us just as much as we are. Five, four, three, two, one. I throw the phone down and hurry to take his wrists. I'm not going to lie, it's hard to help him up. I have to lean back put all my weight to help him climb up the wall. But we do it. He's back on the roof and I am so close to crying and he hugs me and his arms are shaking. It's my turn now. I walk to the edge of the building. Yesterday he had to hold my hand just to get me to walk here.  
"Last chance to back out." He says.  
"I'm gonna do this." I answer. This is no Empire State Building. I squat down and press my hands on the cold cement.  
"It's just 30 seconds." Chase says. Now I hear how stupid it sounded when I said the same. "30 seconds. After that I'll lift you up."  
"Thank you." I say. You know, just in case I happen to fall down and die. "It's just 30 seconds."

He starts recording as I climb down the edge and start hanging. I try to count the seconds in my head. The first three seconds feels easy. After that it gets rough. Great, only nine more of these, nine times three. Apparently I'm trying to distract myself with math? Just thirty seconds. I'm sure the first ten seconds have passed already. Or does it just feel that way because hanging from the edge of 90-meters-tall building is way more harder than I thought? Thirty seconds. How much can happen in thirty seconds? Licking at least two apples. Laughing. Temporary pain while getting a tattoo. Just a teeny tiny part of a good conversation. Transition from arguing to kissing. Thirty seconds is nothing and it can still change everything. Thirty seconds is nothing and I can't even hold on to a fucking edge for that long, it's nothing and all I feel is my fingers slipping nearer to my death.  
"How much left?" I struggle to yell the question to him. He doesn't answer. Instead he takes my wrists and orders me to use my legs to climb up. As soon as my feet hit the edge he wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me down away from it. Did I hang there for ten seconds before I asked about the time and he realized that I couldn't do it and helped me up? Did I fail? I can't make myself say anything, I'm too out of breath, too shaky.  
"You did it." He whispers. I feel the tears running from my eyes as I press my face to his chest. Chase stays still, his hands around me. I can sense how relieved he is. 

  
Chapter 6: invitation and ice breakers

We end up sitting there on the roof, leaning to the wall. There's no mind going back to the party anymore.  
"You want chocolate?" He asks.  
"Yeah, sure." I answer. "I haven't eaten for hours."  
"Me neither." He admits and offers me half of his chocolate bar. I take it to my hand and taste it. I swear that chocolate has never tasted so good before. I'd also swear that things like breathing and sitting down have never felt so good before. There's just something about being few seconds away from instant death that make even tiniest things feel amazing. I kind of understand people who play NERVE just for adrenaline rush now.  
"How's life?" I break the silence.  
"Worth living." Chase looks at me in the eyes.  
"Good answer." I nod. "I couldn't have said it any better myself."  
"I'm sure you would've, you're a writer."  
I roll my eyes.  
"Um, since we're here and we're not going anywhere.. Could I read next chapters from your book?"  
"Oh" I hadn't given even one thought to my book since... The tattoo place? I don't know.  
"Yeah, sure." I go trough my backpack and hand him the stack of papers again. He skips the first ten pages and starts reading. I rest my head on his shoulder and decide to give my eyes a bit of rest too. The wind feels good in my skin and I love the sound of the pages turning. I'm not exactly tired, I mean, my mind is about as awake as it can be. I just want to give my body a rest, which is not a miracle after everything it has gone trough today. My sense of time isn't the best but I'd guess that we spent around twenty minutes like that, just sitting there and resting. Eating chocolate and him reading my book.  
But NERVE cuts our moment of rest by sending us invitation to grand finale round.

Good job on your dares, Trinity and Chase! We're happy to welcome you to our grand finale rounds. If you decide to participate on the last rounds you will have an opportunity to win even more awesome prizes and you get to know other players from today's finales. As always, it's up to you, but we recommend you to click the link below to see what would be your prize from participating on grand finale. Hopefully that will convince you!

I click the link, even though I know by now that I shouldn't. It's like they know me. Know my deepest desires and my taste in books and clothes and, apparently guys too. I can't help but gasp my breath when I see the prize. Of course they're offering me a publishing deal for my book. What kind of game would it be if it didn't offer me to make my life goal and biggest dream to happen.  
"Accept?" I ask.  
"Accept." He answers as it weren't even a question. Maybe it isn't at this point. We both click the neon pink ACCEPT. Few seconds later we receive further instructions from NERVE.

Great! We knew we could count on you to play until the very end! We've sent a limo to pick you from your current location. The car ride will be about 40 minutes long and you will be interviewed during it. You will also be told the rules of the final round. Please don't disturb the driver since they're only doing they're job and don't know the answers to the questions you might have about NERVE. 

I stand up and walk back to the edge. The limo is already there waiting for us. We hurry down the stairs and then take the elevator. Without changing a word we step to the limo and sit down. Doors close and the engines start. 

A small TV turns on and we see two faces staring at us.  
"Hi there, Chase and Trinity!" Woman says. It's a familiar voice, everyone who has watched NERVE has heard her. Seeing her face is new, though.  
"Hi." Chase says.  
"I'm Gayle and this is my co-host Guy" the woman says and nods her head towards the man next to her. "Welcome to the final rounds of NERVE."  
"Are you excited?" Guy asks.  
I look at Chase and his eyes meet mine. He nods.  
"Yes!" I say.  
"Nervous, much?" Gayle laughs.  
"Yes, hella nervous." I admit. "But in a good way."  
"Yeah, we've gotten so far." Chase smiles next to me. I know his smile is at least partly fake. This is what we both want, we just know that as soon as we're doing the grand finale dares, we're going to regret wanting it.  
"You should be proud of yourselves!" Guy states. We nod and smile. "I suppose you're waiting for rules, huh? Gayle, will you do the honors?"  
"Of course, Guy!" Her smile seems even faker than ours. "The rest of the night will be pretty simple: you will enter the finale room and meet the other finalists. There you will get something to eat and drink and be given optional ice breakers in order to get to know each other better. After some time you will be given instructions to the next dare. After the dare you will have some time for chit-chat and of course the classic: your own customized dares. The most important rule about the finale is to remember that if even one of you quits everyone looses their prizes. So consider very carefully if you want to stop playing, because there are everyone else's prizes on the table too. After the customized dares you will be given instructions to the very last phase of NERVE. If you follow the rules and everything goes smoothly, you'll walk out of there before 3AM. Breaking the rules will cause you some sanctions and the rules can be changed at any point of the night. Got any questions?"  
"I-i don't think so." Chase answers.  
"Yeah, that was pretty clear." I agree.  
"Great!" Guy flashes a fakes smile I've ever seen. "How are you feeling now? Is there something you want to say to the audience?"  
I share a look with Chase.  
"Thanks for supporting us!" I say.  
"You've been the greatest Watchers we could imagine!" Chase smiles. "Without you we couldn't have done this."  
"I have to ask," Gayle starts. "you two, people are really shipping you.. How do you feel about that?"  
"Well.." I giggle. "I mean who wouldn't love to be shipped with someone as gorgeous as him?"  
"Exactly what I told to Guy just few minutes before starting this interview." Gayle winks. I laugh.  
"How about you, Chase? Anything nice to say about Trinity?"  
"Only nice things to say about her." He assures. "Doing the dares with her has been crazy fun and I've really enjoyed her company."  
"So the game has done about as good job as usually. NERVE has always been good at match-making." Guy nods.  
"Yeah, we're not an exception to that." Chase laughs briefly and puts his hand around me.  
"Alright, if you don't have anything else to say, we'll leave you two alone for the rest of the drive. We'll see you soon!"  
"Thanks!" I smile as the TV blacks out.  
Then there's silence.  
"We've got almost twenty minutes left." Chase says. "What do you say, a nap?"  
"Great idea!" I smile. "This is why NERVE paired us up. Can you imagine being paired with someone who isn't up for a nap before finale?"

The nap was needed. After everything - the running, the tattoo place, more running and hanging from the edge of a 90-meter-building - closing my eyes and letting my mind and body rest was the best thing I could do. I can't say I feel refreshed after it, but well, I got some rest. And that'll prove to be useful during the next few hours. The limo has driven on a tunnel, I guess we're underground. We turn to the big parking hall. The limo stops. I look at the boy sleeping next to me.  
"Chase!" I touch his hand. "We're there!"  
"What..-" He sounds cute and sleepy.  
"The finale."  
"Oh. Yeah, I'm ready." Chase shakes his head and the look in his eyer gets clearer. "The finale, huh? We did it, Harper!"  
"My guess is that there is still going to be a lot to do." I laugh as I get out of the car. "But, yeah. We made it this far and that's already something."  
"Should we discuss strategies?" He asks.  
"Do you have something in mind?"  
"I don't know.. I just, it seems only wise to first actually meet the other finalists and decide after that whether or not we hate them."  
"You're right." I nod. "I mean, they could be cool."  
We've walked towards the two doors at the end of the parking hall. It's only now that we see the signs on top of them. "GIRLS" and "BOYS". I panic and take his hand.  
"I'm sure it's okay." He doesn't sound so sure. "I mean, it's probably just a dressing room or something."  
"Kinda makes sense." I admit. "Do you think we have to dress on some ridiculous outfits?"  
"I hope you get fake mustache."  
"I hope you dress as an alien."  
We laugh and look at each others. Then we remember that we have no idea what we are up against. And whatever it is, the chance of it being dressing up as aliens and wearing fake mustaches isn't very big.  
"It's going to be okay." He assures. "We'll go through our doors and we'll meet in a finale room."  
"You're sure?"  
"Yes. Gayle said it. We will enter the finale room." He sounds almost believable. "I'll meet you there."  
"Alright." I nod. "Good luck, Chase."  
"Good luck, Harper."  
He opens his door and steps in. I follow his example and walk trough the doorway.  
Chase was right, it was a dressing room. But not the kind of dressing room you can find in school gyms, more like the kind of dressing room on the backstage of the theatre or something.  
"Welcome, Trinity." I hear Gayle's voice from all around me. "You have fifteen minutes to get ready for the finale. You can use and take everything you want from this room, it's all provided to you by our sponsors."  
"Thanks!" I say to the empty room. Gayle doesn't answer, but I hear a ticking noise. I shrug my shoulders and start looking around the room. There's a lot of makeup, few bottles of water, hairspray, facial cleansers and deodorant. Everything you'd expect to find in a theatre dressing room.  
I clean my face, put on moisturizer and start putting on new makeup. I drink a bottle of water (I hadn't realized earlier how thirsty I was) and try to fix my hair. It's truly a disaster, but who's hair wouldn't be after everything I've done today. I put a water bottle and few pretty lipsticks to my backbag. I use the tiny bathroom and put on deodorant and perfume. For the last few minutes I rest in the most comfortable armchair I've ever tried. I feel almost okay, after cleaning up, hydrating myself and taking a nap. The ticking noise ends and I hear Gayle's voice again. "I hope you're ready because we sure are!"  
"I'm ready, I'm ready!" I say and walk towards the next door.

I enter the finale room at the same time with five other teenagers. I can't decide if I should pay attention to the room or to the other finalists. It's dead quiet. Everyone just stands there, so I let my eyes wander around the room. It's big and the walls are full of graffiti. There are few sofas and little tables on the corners and two doors I suppose lead to the bathrooms. But on the center of the room there is a round dining table for six. When I say dining table I mean really fancy dining table. With candles and champaign and everything.  
"Don't be silly!" Guy's voice comes from the speakers. "You can move, you can go sit by the table!"  
"And you don't need to shy away from each other, remember: you're the best of the best!"  
We're still quiet, but we walk to the table and take our places. I suppose everyone takes the seat next to their partner. Everyone just looks at each other in silence, probably judging each other. The girl sitting next to me is the tiny black girl whose dare I watched at the party earlier tonight. She's seated next to a blonde guy, who seems really tense. But then again I guess we're all a bit tense. Next to him sits a muscular asian guy, who has leaned back on his chair, looking almost relaxed. Between Chase and him there's a gorgeous girl with long blonde hair and flawless lipstick. They don't seem too bad. Only one who seems intimidating is the asian guy next to the blonde girl.  
"So.. Champagne, anyone?" The gorgeous blonde asks.  
Before anyone could answer, we heard a laugh from the speakers. "Good starter, Aubrey!" Gayle says. "You've all worked hard for this, so now it's time for a little celebration! Drink champagne, eat and get to know each others. As an ice breaker we will pay you 50 bucks for every glass of champagne you drink and for every question you answer. As a reminder: ice breakers are optional so it's okay to just sit one out."  
There's a moment of silence.  
"I mean, that's easy money." The asian guy shrugs his shoulders and takes the bottle. He pours a glass for him and the blonde girl next to him. "Anyone else?"  
"We could use some." Chase nods. He takes the bottle and fills our glasses with champagne. I take a sip. "How about you?" He asks from the couple sitting next to me.  
"Oh, no, we're only sixteen." The blonde guy answers.  
"I want!" The girl next to me says. Her partner looks at her in shock and the girl rolls her eyes. "Don't worry, Parker, I'm not planning on getting drunk or anything, it's just one glass!"  
"One glass of champagne won't hurt anyone." Chase says and deserves a flash of smile from the girl sitting next to me. "But if you choose not to drink, we all respect your decision."  
Everyone else nods as Chase pours the champagne to the girls' glass.  
"I feel like we should introduce ourselves." The girl who Gayle had called Aubrey says.  
"First question: What is your name and how old are you?" Guy's voice comes from the speakers.  
"You already know my name since Gayle mentioned it, but yeah, I'm Aubrey and I'm nineteen years old."  
"The name is Hudson. I'm eighteen and really psyched to be here." The asian guy states.  
"I'm Chase and I'm eighteen."  
"I'm Trinity and I'm seventeen."  
"Hi everyone, I'm Jamila. As my partner already told you, I'm sixteen."  
"I'm Parker, and I too, am sixteen."  
"Great job, everyone!" We hear Gayle's fake over-excited voice again. "Now lets go deeper: What inspired you to start playing NERVE? And what has been your favorite dare so far? You can either choose one question to answer or double the prize money by answering both of the questions."  
"Who starts?" Aubrey asks.  
"I can." Hudson says. "The reason I play NERVE? I like the prizes. And I like challenging myself, it feels good to nail a dare."  
"He's such an adrenaline addict." Aubrey giggles to everyone else.  
"And for the best dare so far... well, personally I loved the one at the railway station. We had to run trough all of the rails."  
It's clear that he's an adrenaline addict.  
"Wow, that sounds.. pretty nerve-wrecking and tiring." Chase says.  
"It sure was." Hudson nods. "But the prizes were worth it."  
"Aren't they always." Chase laughs. "I'll go next: my favorite dare has been the tattoos." He takes my hand under the table.  
"Why?" Jamila asks.  
"Well, it was a good moment." Chase shrugs his shoulders. "Trinity and I really bonded and hey, I got a cool tattoo!"  
"Can we see it?" Jamila answers.  
"Sure." He stands up and lifts his shirt to show the words written on his side."  
"Can you hear the end of the world coming" Aubrey reads. "What does that mean?"  
"They were actually my first words to him." I admit. "It was my second dare and I was supposed to find him and ask that."  
"Yeah and it's not only just that, we've had really good conversations about sci-fi and we're both oddly interested about the apocalypse." Chase explains. "She has even written a book about it."  
"Oh, that's cool!" Hudson nods approvingly.  
"And that actually leads the conversation to the reason why I'm playing NERVE." I say. "I'm doing all of this for my book. My teacher read it and didn't like the way I portrayed the characters, they didn't feel real enough. So he said - and I quote - that I should live a little. So there I was in my car, crying like a baby because my teacher didn't love my work and I decided to take his advice and well, live a little.. And I did my first dare."  
"That's quite a story." Jamila laughs. "A lot better than mine, at least. But I'm sure the book is good and hey, I guess this game can give you a lot to write about?"  
"Definitely." I smile.  
"How about your fave dare so far?" Aubrey asks.  
"Oh, that! I'm torn between selling my underwear at the grocery store and hanging from the edge of the 30-floor-building. I mean I didn't exactly love doing either of them, but succeeding felt pretty great."  
"Thirty floor building?" Jamila sounds disgusted. "That sounds horrible. But you're here, that's cool. You did it!"  
"Why are you playing?" I ask from her. I know that I don't really know her but she seems nice and cool. I could see myself being friends with her.  
"Well, my reason isn't as cool as yours.. To put it simply, I wanted to prove everyone that I'm not a baby anymore. At home and school everyone treats me like I'm a 10-year-old or something and I'm so sick of it. And of course, NERVE has been the coolest thing possible for months now and I've watched it too, so I thought that hell, I could do that too. And I did!"  
"How about your favorite dare?" Chase asks.  
"I thought doing cartwheels at the fancy restaurant was a lot of fun." She can't help but laugh a little bit.  
"That sounds like fun." Aubrey smiles at her. "How about you, Parker?"  
We all turn to look at the boy sitting next to Jamila. He has kept quiet the whole time.  
"I guess you all already guessed that I don't really want to be here." He admits. "I started playing because of her and I'm here because of her."  
"I told him he could quit." Jamila rolls her eyes.  
"And I chose not to, because my plan is to get you home safely." He answers.  
"So.. You two knew each others before NERVE?" Hudson asks.  
"Yeah, we're best friends." He nods.  
"What has been your favorite dare?" Hudson asks Parker.  
"None of them, really."  
"Alright, I guess it's my turn now!" Aubrey flashes a smile. "My reason to play NERVE is actually pretty similar to Jamila's. I'm here to prove everyone that I am capable of so much more than just being interested in all that materialistic stuff and acting like a princess. I mean don't get me wrong - I am a princess - it's just that I can be so much more."  
I can't help but clap my hands for her. Jamila joins in and Aubrey looks really proud of herself.  
"That's amazing, real girl power!" Jamila says. "Looks like we girls are all playing this game to prove the point that we can be whoever the hell we want."  
"Aww, I can already see us being best friends!" Aubrey sounds excited and stands up to give me and Jamila a group hug. I know it's stupid to be this trusting and all, but Jamila and Aubrey are both very cool. Even though it has been so little time I've known them, they've already proved to be made of iron. I mean we're all here, right?  
"That's cute, girls." Hudson laughs. "Good to see we're all getting along."  
"Okay, okay, I want to tell about the best dare too!" Aubrey says as she returns to her seat. "The one in the railway station was cool, but personally I found the most funny the dare where I had to give away autographs to random people at the mall."  
"After awhile everyone was convinced that she's a third Hilton sister or something." Hudson rolls his eyes. "It was definitely entertaining." Everyone (except Parker) laughs.

"It has been great to see our finalists bond!" Guy's voice comes from speakers. "Next you will have about an half an hour to eat, drink and chat, until we'll give you your next dare. Have fun!"  
"Are you alright?" Chase asks as everyone seems to turn to their partners.  
"Yeah, surprisingly fine." I smile. "We've got some pretty great finalists here."  
"Everyone seems cool." He nods. "We should eat something."  
"You're right." We both turn our attention to what is served to us. Fancy food, like foie gras, asparagus and mushroom risotto. I'm not complaining. It takes self-control to not eat too much, since it's more than probable that we will have to do something athletic during the night. But I enjoy every bite of it.  
"So, tell me about your book!" Jamila says.  
"Oh, well.. It's science fiction. It's about the apocalypse and its' got aliens in it." I tell. "A lot of action, with a romantic storyline, of course."  
"That sounds awesome." She smiles at me. "I'm going to read it when you're getting it published."  
"Thanks!" I laugh. "Now at least one person is going to read it."  
"Hey!" Chase comments. He has been talking with Aubrey and Hudson. "You've got two readers."  
"Of course" I giggle. "He has already read the first chapters."  
"So, you two didn't know each other before NERVE, huh?"  
"Yeah, we only met yesterday." I nod. "It feels like much longer ago, though."  
"A lot has happened."  
"Exactly. And like, when I think about it, I really trust him. It's weird. I guess doing bunch of irresponsible and dangerous shit really brings people closer together."  
"You could say so." She laughs. "I guess we'll all be really close once this is over."  
"You're probably right." I nod. "What do you think the next dare is?"  
But Jamila didn't get to answer because, once again, we heard Gayle's voice from the speakers.  
"We hope you've had fun getting to know each other!" She pauses for awhile, and I'm sure we all fill the pause by thinking 'but this is all the fun you'll have tonight because it ends now'. Then she continues: "It's time for your next dare now! We will soon open a door and every one of you needs to enter the room it leads to. This is a group challenge so you don't need to take turns. You will be given further instructions once you've entered the room."  
We all stand up and watch as a slide door (that had been hid to the wall) opens. Hudson downs his third glass of champagne and we all look at each others.  
We start walking to the door and enter the next room together.

  
Chapter 7: "We just went for a quick swim, who's ready for dessert now?"

There is a swimming pool and six showers on the room.  
"Yay, skinny dipping!" Aubrey laughs and takes few steps closer to the pool. After seeing what the pool is filled with, her excitement drops. "Is that..-"  
"I don't think so." Chase says. We all stand by the edge of the pool incredulously. "I'm sure it's fake."  
Hudson sticks his hand to the pool.  
"Seems real to me." He sounds disgusted.  
"It might be donated?" I suggest.  
"What, like they robbed hospital to fill a pool with blood?" Jamila tries to laugh, but looks like she could faint any minute.  
"Great to see you working together on this!" Guy's voice comes from the speakers somewhere. "Your dare is simple: you need to swim in the pool. For every minute spent in that pool, you will earn 50 bucks. The maximum time you can spend swimming is twenty minutes."  
"And as a reminder: ice breakers are now over. If you don't want to perform this or any further dares, you and all of your fellow finalists will loose all your prizes." Gayle says.  
"The time starts from the moment the first of you enters the pool. Have fun!"  
We all look at each other, then the pool.  
"It can't be that bad." Parker opens his mouth. "No one has to stay there for even a minute. A dip will count." Everyone nods.  
"But staying there for the full twenty minutes will earn you thousand bucks. I think we can do this." Hudson says and starts undressing.  
I consider swimming with my clothes on, but decide that now isn't the right time or place to be shy. Way easier and cleaner to just strip off all of my clothes and be quick to enter the pool. Aubrey compliments the dress I'm wearing and helps me with the zipper. I feel shy looking at others, so I decide to be the first one to enter the pool.

"Ew.. It's warm." I complain, but throw myself to the pool anyway.  
Everyone follows me, looking really disgusted. It starts to feel pretty clear now that the blood is not fake. It feel so realistic, being thick and warm and smelling like, well, blood. First one to get out of the pool is Parker. I take a look at others. Jamila is crying silently and seems to be hyperventilating. I swim to her.  
"Are you alright?" I ask.  
"She's afraid of blood." Parker says."You can come here, Jamila."  
"No, I don't want to quit.." Jamila says between the rough breaths."I'm not a quitter."  
"Jamila, you're having a panic attack." Chase has swam next to us. "It's not quitting, it's alright.."  
"No" She resists.  
"She could drown!" Aubrey joins the conversation.  
"Or faint.. And then drown." Hudson adds.  
"I don't think that's helping." I state. "But they're right, Jamila. You should get out of the pool. This could get dangerous."  
"Nobody thinks you're a quitter." Aubrey assures. Chase, Hudson and I are nodding.  
"Alright." Jamila sighs and lets Parker take her hands and pull her out of the pool. The rest of us keep swimming around for few minutes. Then Hudson screams, which is very unlikely for him and almost comedic.  
"What's wrong?" Aubrey asks, clearly holding her laughter.  
"My foot touched something."  
"Oh you're one of those people!" Aubrey says. "I guess you can't swim in ocean either?"  
"No, my foot touched something, and it would be okay if we weren't in a pool." Hudson yells. "Filled with blood, may I add."  
"Do you know what it was?" I ask. "What did it feel like?"  
"Like.. a head. Hair and all."  
"Wait a second." Chase says and tries the floor with his foot. "Yep. Definitely hair. And skin and..- I'm out of here."  
Hudson follows Chase's lead and exists the pool with really disgusted expression on his face.  
Audrey is freaking out next to me, but she doesn't seem to plan on getting out of the pool.  
"You okay?"  
"I'm alright as long as I don't touch the floor." She says with a shaky voice. "And I'm not going to touch it."  
"How long has it been?"  
"I'd guess like ten minutes or something?"  
"You have five minutes left." Guy comments.  
"What do you think?" I ask Aubrey. "Can we do this?"  
"We can do this." She agrees. We keep swimming circles and trying to keep it together. I can't lie, this is bad. I feel sick to my stomach and the more I swim around, the more I smell the blood. But I do my best to ignore what I'm doing and just keep the whole thing automatic.

After what feels like forever we hear Guy's voice. "Time is up. Congratulations, Aubrey and Trinity, you did great job!"  
"There you go!" Aubrey says. "I can be so much more than just a princess."  
I force a smile as I get out of the pool.  
"You have ten minutes to clean up now. After that, please return to the main room."  
We all make our way to the showers and start cleaning up. As we shower, the pool starts emptying. We all hurry to get dressed. Aubrey helps me with my zipper again and we walk to watch the blood get sucked out of the pool. All six of us stand there on the edge, really afraid to see what we will see on the floor.  
Turns out we feared for a good reason.  
"Oh my god I think I'm going to be sick." I whisper as I press my face against Chase's chest. He puts his arm around me and kind of pats my head. I can hear someone vomiting. Jamila's crying is now easy to hear.  
"There's no way knowing that those aren't real." Hudson clears his throat. "I mean, they look realistic and all, but.."  
"They look pretty fucking realistic to me." Aubrey says. I can hear the panic in her voice.  
"That doesn't mean it's real." Chase reasons. "I mean, just think about the movies nowadays, everything seems realistic. There's no way they would make us swim in a pool of real blood with real bodies and.. body parts on the floor. No way."  
"He's right." I say. "It looks realistic.. But everything can be made to look realistic nowadays."  
"And knowing whether or not those are real won't make any difference." He adds.  
"True. We just need to move on. The point of this game is to get to our nerves, if we get freaked out by this any more than we already are there is no way we can survive the next dares." Hudson rationalizes.  
"Wise words." I say and let go of Chase. "We should get going."  
"Jamila, are you okay?" Aubrey asks and hugs her.  
"I will be."  
"How about you, Parker?" Hudson asks. "You just barfed on the pool full of bloody bodies."  
"The barfing did help." He shrugs his shoulders.

We make our way back to the main room. Somebody has taken away the food and replaced it with new champagne bottles and a cake.  
"Great" Hudson laughs. "We just went for a quick swim, who's ready for dessert now?"  
Everyone laughs sarcastically and we sit down around the table again. Everyone is pretty quiet.  
"We should talk." I say. "Just to get our minds off of it. Like Hudson said, freaking out about the latest dare doesn't help us win this game."  
"I know I've said this before but I'm going to say it once again" Aubrey states. "Champagne, anyone?"  
"I could use some." Parker admits. Now it's everyone else's turn to look at him shocked. "What, you said that one glass of champagne won't hurt anyone."  
"But, Parker, we're only sixteen." Jamila teases him.  
"I sure feel older now." He laughs. We all join him and pass the bottle around so everyone could pour themselves a glass.  
"So, Hudson and Aubrey" Jamila stars. "Did you know each others before NERVE?"  
"We used to be in the same school, actually." Aubrey says. "Hudson is a senior now, and I graduated a year ago."  
"We've hung out in the same parties but we never really knew each others." Hudson adds. "How about Trinity and Chase?"  
"We only met yesterday." Chase says. "Or the day before that, I'm not sure what time is it."  
"And you're getting along well?" Aubrey asks.  
"You could say so." I smile and take a sip from my champagne.  
"Do you guys see yourselves together, like, after the game too?"  
I look at Chase and he looks at me.  
"We haven't really talked about it, yet." Chase shrugs his shoulders. "But I could see us together."  
"Yeah, I mean, we've got some pretty similar interests and we share the same kind of sense of humor and everything.." I add.  
"Of course I'd take her on a date first, and we could discuss this whole thing after that.."  
I smile at him.  
"But that is only if we don't die tonight." Aubrey says. Everyone laughs, because it was clearly a joke. But we saw the bodies in the pool. We know that players have died on NERVE earlier. Last month the finale dare was that everyone had to choose a victim out of the other finalists and then shoot the victim. Of course no one died during that finale, because the player named Vee bailed the game. But it was clear that if she didn't bail, there would've been bodies.

  
Chapter 8: panic rooms

"It's the time for the most classic NERVE dare that has been part of the final dares since the very first game: your very own customized rooms!" Gayle announces. "First ones to face their dares are Jamila, Hudson and Trinity. Walk to the hallway at the back of the room and you'll find doors with your names on them. The next dare will be fifteen minutes long."  
"Have fun!" Guy adds.  
"Have fun" Hudson imitates Guy. "Why do they keep saying that, when they're doing the best they can so we won't have fun."  
"Fifteen minutes." Chase whispers to me. "You can do this."  
"Yeah. It's just fifteen minutes."  
"I'll be here when you come back. It'll be okay."  
"See ya." I say. My voice sounds really empty.

Me, Hudson and Jamila walk quietly to the hallway that had been hidden behind other slide doors. My feet feel numb and I have hard time keeping my breathing regular. I can feel my heartbeats everywhere. The first door we face is mine.  
"This is it." I state. "Good luck, you two."  
"We'll see after fifteen minutes." Jamila tries to smile. I really appreciate it. I open the door and step inside. It's a dark room with a coffin in the middle of it. Great. Just great, amazing. I consider running the hell away from there, but I know I can't do that.  
"Alright." I say aloud to myself. "The sooner I start this, the sooner it'll end."

I walk to the coffin and open it. It's empty. I step inside it and lie down. The lid slams shut and I try to focus on my breathing.  
After awhile I start feeling weird tickle and hearing some kind of swarming.. from inside the coffin. I start hyperventilating and screaming, but as the insects make their way closer to my face I try to cover my ears, nose and mouth with my hands. Two of my worst phobias put together, the perfect combination.  
Time seems to slow down, I hyperventilate and my hands shake like crazy.  
It gets really hot and I can actually hear my heartbeats. I want to quit, I want to end this and get the hell away from this place and the whole game. But I can't. I can't get myself even to yell, I am so panicked I just lie, waiting for my death, which won't probably be too far away since I'm having a hard time breathing because my mouth and nose are covered. Plus I'm already in a coffin, so there's that.  
I consider letting go of my nose or mouth, but suffocating this way is so much better than choking on bunch of insects. I cry silently and after some time I start feeling like the oxygen is really running out from the whole coffin, so even if I made it with my respiratory passages covered and didn't choke on an insect, I could still suffocate.  
I try not to think, but no matter what I do the panic feels to be only growing worse. Also the amount of the insects seems to be growing too, which only raises my panic levels.  
After supposedly fifteen minutes the insects start backing out and after it's quiet again, the lid pops open and I fill my lungs with fresh air. I sit up and lean to my knees, crying aloud. My arms and legs are shaking as I stand up and start making my way to the door slowly. I open the door and return to the main room.

I don't bother pretending to be tough, I simply make my way to the closest sofa and lie down on it. Chase hurries next to me.  
"Are you okay?" He asks and tries to dry the tears from my face.  
"I will be, really.." I say between my cries. "It was really awful."  
"I'm sorry.. Just try to remember that it wasn't real."  
"How do you know?" I whisper. "We don't know if any of this is real. It could be. It.. felt real, they felt like they were real, I..-"  
"Chase, Aubrey and Parker, please enter your own rooms." Gayle's voice says.  
"Hey, listen, I have to go.. I'll come back and we'll talk, okay?" He says. "Just.. try to close your eyes and remember that it wasn't real. And it's over now."  
He kisses my cheek and walks to the hallway. I wonder what he will have to face. Considering what I know about him, it's probably something related to his family. That's going to hurt him. I feel bad for not being able to help him. I lie on the sofa and repeat aloud "It wasn't real, It wasn't real" over and over again. After awhile I sit up and look around, check how Jamila ja Hudson are doing. Jamila is sitting by the table. I can see she has cried, but she seems to be pretty calm now. She's sipping the champagne from her glass and looking at the hallway, probably wondering what Parker is experiencing at this moment. Hudson is sitting on a sofa on the other side of the room. His expression is empty, but the tears are still rolling down his cheeks. It's pretty shocking to see a guy like him to be so.. not vulnerable. Broken. He's staring into the floor, crying silently and without a doubt going trough the worst fifteen minutes of his life in his head. I consider going there and comforting him, but I don't think my feet are ready to carry me quite yet. I lie down again and close my eyes, trying to focus on my breathing and to relaxing my muscles.

Fifteen minutes go way quicker here than on our own personalized panic rooms, because it doesn't take too long after the last three finalists come back.  
"Chase!" I stand up and hurry to him. "How are you feeling?"  
"I, um.. I'm alright."  
I walk him to the sofa I had been lying on and sit him down. I see he has cried, but he doesn't seem to be freaked out in the same way I was.  
"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.  
"I.. I can talk about it, I just..-"  
"Hey, look at me." I say. My hands are still a bit shaky, but I place them on his cheeks to get him to look at my eyes. "It wasn't real. It felt real but it wasn't."  
He just nods.  
"You don't have to tell me what happened, but you can." I state. "I myself got to experiment two of my worse phobias in the same beautiful package and had a fifteen minute panic attack, I was sure I'd die. So you can tell me, just remember it wasn't real."  
"It was just.." He lowers his voice. "Like, a very realistic hypothetical situation about my sister and my mother.."  
"Oh." I get it. "I'm sorry. It wasn't real, Chase."  
"I know, I just.. It could be." He whispers. "It could be happening this very minute. Everything was so real, what if it..- What if it has happened? During this day, while I have been playing?"  
"Hey, stop that.. It hasn't happened, trust me, it hasn't. And you're doing this to help them." I state. "You've gotten this far and you're so close to having all of the prizes.. Even those last fifteen minutes, you did it for your family."  
He nods, but doesn't say anything.

I know he needs few minutes for himself, so I give him a hug and join the others on the table.  
"How are you feeling here?" I ask quietly.  
"Alive." Hudson says, but his voice is shaky and the look in his eyes is still empty.  
"Does anyone want to share what they had to do?" Aubrey asks. "Talking might help."  
"I'll skip, that was way too embarrassing." Jamila shrugs her shoulders.  
"I can." Parker volunteers. "I walked into that room. Except it wasn't really a room, it was like I was really outside. And there were other people, lots of them. I didn't give it too much thought, I just started walking because everyone else was doing so and then I realized that I hadn't really seen any of their faces. And the exact moment I made that mental note, they all turned their faces at me. They were clowns. Fucking killer clowns, man, with knives and everything. I've always been afraid of them, but this was like the next level shit, you know, especially after that pool dare.. So I tried to run, I tried to fight them, nothing worked. When they had finally gotten me against the door, they disappeared and the fifteen minutes was over. It was fucking terrifying."  
"That sounds awful." I admit. "I've always found clowns creepy too."  
"What did you have to do?" Jamila asks.  
"I had to lie on a closed coffin full of insects for fifteen minutes." I explain it shortly. "They're the two of my worst phobias, it was one long panic attack. I was so sure that I would suffocate."  
Everybody looks disgusted.  
"I had spiders." Aubrey admits. "I know it doesn't sound too bad, but they freak me out. I screamed like crazy."  
"Hudson?" Parker asks. "How about you?"  
"I um.. It was a fire." He answers. "The same fire I had already once experienced, actually."  
"Oh no" Aubrey sighs. "What happened?"  
"When I was nine, our house burned down. I lost my father in that fire." Hudson explains. "I went to the room and it was my childhood bedroom. Of course I should've known what was coming but hey, seeing all that stuff made me excited for a moment. I mean I lost all of that in the fire, it felt like getting it all back.. And then I smelled smoke, and out of nowhere the whole place was on fire. When I was a kid and the fire happened, I knew what to do. I knew how to keep it cool, I took the cat and ran. After the fire and my fathers death the fire became more and more scary for me. Like I can't even move, that's how afraid I am. So I stood there. Watched my room burn down and heard the screams of my father..."  
"I'm sorry that happened to you." Jamila whispers. "Both times."  
Aubrey has taken Hudson's hand.

At least my panic room was based on phobias, not a trauma or realistic fears... Which make me think about this game, of course. NERVE really knows everything about us. Our phobias, our fears... Hudson said the room was exactly like his childhood room used to be. They had everything just right, they knew everything.. It creeps me out. This whole game, this creeps me out. I'm starting to have an panic attack once again, because now I look back at everything I've done. Is it really worth it? Living a little, getting all the books and the trips and the laptop and the money.. Has risking my life and offering all of my personal history and privacy to be someone else's entertainment really been worth it? All the running and high places and pools full of blood and a fucking coffin full of insects.. I had signed up for asking silly questions from strangers, not for this. For so long I thought that I had this all under control, but I hadn't noticed the exact moment when this changed from innocent, silly dares to literal torture. Of course the prizes had been just right, they started from materialistic stuff - books and laptops and the clothes - and moved on to the things I really wanted, needed. Everything is calculated so carefully, making sure the prize will always be worth the dare, no matter how dangerous it is. I think back to Wednesday and think about my problems then - oh, my teacher didn't love my book, oh, I'm such a loser I've never been to a party - and compare it to the fact that I had given all of my personal information to a sadistic, most likely illegal game whose only purpose is to put teenagers to do more and more dangerous stuff and to humiliate them for the prizes and fame. I've never cared about fame, what's wrong with me? NERVE doesn't care about us, it cares about Watchers, it cares about entertainment and the worse things look for us, the more enjoyment Watchers get from it. And hey - if somebody dies, that's the best kind of entertainment! No wonder why Vee broke the wall on her finale and bailed. I start hyperventilating again and it's pretty obvious to everyone that I'm losing it.  
"Look at me." Chase has sat next to me. He places his hands on my shoulders. "Breath."  
I try to breath at the same phase as he is.  
"What's wrong?"  
I remember his sister. I can't bail. His prizes are too important, I can't bail and risk it. And it's possible the other finalists have prizes just as valuable as Chase has, I can't make them lose their prizes.  
"Nothing. I mean, just the last dare, it was.. Pretty scary for all of us."

Chapter 9: Watchers want drama

We continue our night by chatting and trying to even slightly enjoy the finale. Of course, no one is relaxed anymore, all of us are really tense. Lots of empty voices and laughs. Nobody wants to talk about the game anymore, it's clear. I guess all of us realized the mistake we had made, pressing that PLAYER-option forever ago. Sure, we could escape, like Vee and Ian, but that would mean no prizes and if we did that, it would've all been for nothing.  
"The Watchers have noted that this month's finalists are getting along pretty well." Guy's voice comes from the speakers, again. "Maybe even too well?"  
We all look at each others panicked. Are they serious?  
"It's great to see the players working to together, but seeing a bit of drama is always entertaining! You will be payed 100 dollars for every time you say something mean about your fellow finalists. Have fun!" Gayle announces.  
"Okay... so, Parker, you didn't really impress me at first bc you were so quiet and kind of rude." Hudson says. That wasn't really a mean thing to say.  
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that." Parker shrugs his shoulders.  
"That's alright, man." Hudson nods. "I know you were nervous, we all were.."  
"Wow guys, that was really mean." Aubrey laughs. I can't help but laugh too.  
"Okay.. I can try." I say. "Chase."  
"Huh?"  
"You're annoying when you try to be protective of me. Remember that fight at the party? I was so mad at you for treating me like I was something you had to take care of."  
"That's cute." Jamila laughs. "The only mean thing you have to say about Chase is that he cares about you." Everyone laughs.  
"Jamila." Parker starts. "Your fear of blood is ridiculous. Remember that time on 5th grade when you fainted because of your own bloody nose? Everyone made fun of you for the entire year and you had no idea about it."  
"Aw, that sucks." She shrugs her shoulders. "Did you know that Reagan went out with you because she was dared to do so?"  
"Oh, that's why it didn't work out.."  
"We're really bad at this, you know?" Aubrey laughs.  
"Yes you are." We hear Gayle's voice once again. "Watchers aren't impressed with your insults, so you will be given sanctions."  
"Pair up with your partners." Guy continues. "You two need to decide which one of you is giving up their latest prize. If you can't make the decision, that counts as bailing."

"Don't you dare" Aubrey says, looking at Hudson. "I've worked so hard for this!"  
"What do you think I've been doing?" Hudson sounds angry. Great, the drama the Watchers were wishing for. Jamila and Parker have lowered their voices, but it's obvious that they're having a heated discussion too.  
"Hey" Chase says quietly besides me. "Can we talk about this somewhere else?"  
We stand up and walk to the sofas. He sits down. I stand in front of him, thinking about my book.  
"Chase, be honest with me." I say. "What was your last prize?"  
"They offered my mother a green card." Chase says, his voice low and quiet.  
"That settles it." I nod. "I'm giving up my prize."  
"Harper, no." He protests. "At least tell me first what it is. We should make this decision together."  
"There's no need for that." I assure. "You're prize is way more important than mine."  
"I saw the look in your eyes after seeing what your final prize was. I don't believe you."  
"Stop it, please. I'm not changing my mind." I stress it. "I'd rather burn my prize than let you give up yours."  
"Prove it, Trinity." Guy's voice interrupts us. The other finalists turn to look at us.  
"What?" I ask.  
"Prove it." Guy repeats. "Walk to the hallway you found your customized panic rooms. At the end of the hallway, there is a door with you're name on it. Take your backpack with you and prove you meant what you said."  
"All the other finalists are welcome to watch!" Gayle says.

Why. Why do Gayle and Guy suddenly hate me? What are they punishing me for?  
I walk to my chair and take my backpack. I know no one else has any idea what's going on.  
"You don't have to do this" Chase walks to me. "I can still give up mine."  
"I don't think so." I whisper. "They told me to do this. If I didn't it would count as bailing. And I wouldn't let you give up your mother's green card."  
I walk to the hallway and hear the other finalists following me. I open the door. It's a small room, with a metallic trash can, ignition fluid and matches.  
"This is it." I sigh.  
"What is she doing?" Aubrey asks Chase.  
"I'm not sure, but I have a guess..-"  
I take my book from my backpack and look at it. I think about Mr Edler, I think about my characters and the plot lines and Chase sitting next to me, reading it. This breaks my heart, but I know I've got to do it.  
"No" Jamila whispers.  
I toss the book to the trash can, pour the ignition fluid on it and light up a match.  
"This is how much I want you to get your prize." I look directly at Chase and drop the burning match to the trash can. My book catches the fire and everyone looks at me in total shock.  
"Harper.." Chase whispers.  
"Look at this." I start. "That book was everything I did for over a year. Everything I thought about, everything I talked about. I skipped parties and opportunities to hang out with my friends and travel.. - my parent's are traveling in Europe this very moment and I didn't go, because I wanted to focus on my writing. I started even playing this fucked up game so I could work on my book! But then I met Chase." I feel like crying, but I must keep it together, this is something I have to say. To Chase, to myself, especially to Watchers because this might be my only chance to make them really think. "I met him, and I realized how privileged I really was. My biggest problems were that my teacher didn't love my book and I hadn't ever gone to a party... Chase's problems are so much bigger. He plays because his family needs the prizes, he plays to take care of his sister and mother! Compare my reasons to play to his reasons, I am unbelievably selfish and privileged compared to him, and still he wants me to get my prize! He's the good one, he deserves his prizes.. This was the only copy I had of my book and I am letting it burn, because I refuse to take advantage of my privilege anymore."  
"The last prize was publicizing deal for your book, wasn't it?" Chase asks.  
I nod.  
He rushes to me and hugs me.  
"I'm sorry you had to do that." He whispers.  
"I'm not." I answer. He kisses me briefly and we turn to the other finalists.  
"Trinity." Jamila starts. "What you did was really brave. Recognising your own privilege isn't easy and using it to draw attention to real problems is rare..."  
"Yeah, that was really brave." Hudson admits. "Especially if we remember how important that book was for you."  
"I really admire you, Harper." Aubrey nods. "I hadn't even thought about this game that way. I mean, of course everyone has different motivations for playing but.. I didn't realize some of us might do this for other than even a little bit selfish reasons."  
"I sense a group hug." Hudson says. Everyone hugs each others. We just can't give the Watchers the drama they want, can we?  
"Great job, Trinity!" Gayle sounds yet again over excited. "You proved how much you care about Chase, and the audience was really moved by your speech."  
"Now it's time for every pair to declare which one is giving up their final prize." Guy says.  
"I'm giving up my prize!" Parker says loudly.  
"The choice was pretty hard.." Aubrey starts. "But I am giving up my prize."  
"If it wasn't already clear" I say. "I literally jus gave up my prize so Chase could get his."

We all make our way back to the main room. Our cell phones haven't been really working the whole night, but during the finale NERVE has somehow managed to fuck up the clocks too. So we have no way knowing what's the time and how much time we have left. The atmosphere is a lot more relaxed than it was after the panic rooms, but not being able to know the time has every one of us even little bit nervous.  
"Shouldn't it be three AM soon?" Parker asks as he yawns.  
"We've got the finale dare left.." Aubrey points out. "How long do you think that'll take?"  
"What do you think it is?" Jamila asks.  
"Would you like to take a nap?" I ask Chase.  
"You read my mind." He admits. We go to the sofas and lie down. Everyone else seems to follow our example and soon everyone is laying down, I can hear Hudson snoring.  
I guess it takes good five minutes or so that we can enjoy the rest, because too soon after falling asleep, loud music starts playing from the speakers.  
"Dance party!" Gayle yells over the music. "Everybody stand up and dance!"  
Everyone sits up and looks at each other, painful look in all of our eyes.  
"If you don't dance, we've got nice little sanctions for all of you!" Guy announces.  
"Oh shit." Aubrey complains, but is the first one to stand up and move her hands in the air. We follow her example because none of us want to see what kind of punishments they've got in store for us. I look around as I move my feet and do some unexpected turns. Jamila is shaking her body and taking salsa steps and Hudson and Parker are doing something that could be dancing if you used enough imagination. Chase takes my hand and starts spinning me around. We dance for one song, then another one starts playing.  
"Does NERVE have some kind of thing for Britney?" I ask Chase. He answers by singing along to Britney Spear's Oops! I did it again. I can't help but laugh, because the whole situation is so surreal.  
After five songs the music ends and we take it as a permission to sit down.  
"At least we're not that tired anymore?" Parker notes.  
"Thanks for the dance party!" Gayle says. "As you can see, the Watchers joined you and really enjoyed it!"  
Video of dancing people in many different places is projected to the wall. We all watch the happy faces, moving their bodies to Britney songs, drunk, excited, with nothing to worry about. It makes me kind of mad to think about it.

"It's time for what you've all been waiting for!" Guy announces. "The grand finale dare! Are you excited?"  
"Yay.." Every one of us is clapping our hands, pretending to be excited.  
"Before we tell you more, let's have a little poll: who do you think is the most watched finalist this month?"  
We all look at each others.  
"I'd say Hudson?" I say.  
"Aubrey." Hudson says.  
"Trinity, for sure." Chase says.  
"I agree with Chase." Jamila nods.  
"I'd say Chase, actually.." Aubrey says. Everyone looks at Parker.  
"I'm torn between Jamila and Trinity.." He admits.  
Jamila laughs at her partner.  
"Surprisingly, Parker was right!" Gayle says. "Jamila and Trinity are our two most popular finalists, and to celebrate that, we have taken their favorite dares and put them together to give you an unforgettable final dare!"  
I try to think back to the start of the finale. What did I say was my favorite dare?  
Everyone looks at me and Jamila.  
"Do you want to guess it first?" Guy asks.  
"Well, I.. I said that I couldn't decide.." I start. "I told about selling my underwear and then.. hanging from the edge of a building."  
"My answer was cartwheels." Jamila nods.  
"Please, please let it be making cartwheels without our underwear." Hudson says loudly.  
"We're so sorry to disappoint you, Hudson, but we didn't include the underwear dare to the final dare." Gayle says. "Nothing prevents you from taking them off, of course."  
"In your final dare you will be working in pairs." Guy says. "Soon you will enter an elevator that will take you to the roof. You need to decide which one of you hangs from the edge and which one does the cartwheels on it."  
"How long?" Chase asks. "How long are we supposed to hang on the edge?"  
"Your pair needs to do three cartwheels. They can start doing cartwheels the second you're hanging on the edge, and once they're done with the cartwheels, you can come up."

  
Chapter 10: Empire State Building

I'm holding his hand as we walk to the elevator.  
"I'll try to do them fast." I promise. "And I'll try not to fall."  
"How tall do you think this building is?" Aubrey asks.  
"Where even are we?" Jamila adds. "Like, which city."  
"I think New York." Hudson says. "The finales are usually kept in a big city, and NYC makes sense.."  
"Which would make the building pretty tall, huh?" Aubrey groans. Everyone stares their reflections on the mirror as the doors slide shut.  
The elevator goes up and it feels like forever. After the forever we hear a bing and the doors open. We walk trough the hallway and make our ways to the roof. There are cameras everywhere.  
"Is.. Is this Empire State Building?" Parker asks.  
"Oh fuck." I groan and look at Chase.  
"This is no Empire State Building" He imitates me. I try to laugh.  
"Alright. Are we ready to do this?" Hudson asks.  
"I guess we are." Aubrey nods. "We shouldn't push this any later."  
"They're right." I say to Chase.  
"We take turns, right?" Parker asks. Everyone nods. "And it's not against rules to help each others. We can stay close and help, if it looks like somebody is about to fall, right?"  
Everyone waits.  
"Wise thinking, Parker!" Guy comments. "You're right, helping each others out isn't against the rules. Good luck!"  
We look at each others.  
"We can start." Jamila volunteers. "I've took gymnastic classes, so my cartwheels should be on point. Parker will hang from the edge and I'll try to be quick."  
"Sounds good." I nod. "Guys, will you stay near Parker and make sure that he doesn't fall? Me and Aubrey will be close to Jamila and help her if she looses her balance." Everyone nods and we move to the edge. It's pretty wide, almost an meter or so.  
Jamila and parker get up on the edge.  
"Should I do it facing you guys or the fall?" She asks.  
"Which way you loose your balance more often?" Aubrey asks.  
"Let me try." Jamila says and hops down to us. She throws a cartwheel. "The balance is nearly perfect, but I guess I tend to lean to my front a bit more. So facing you it is." She gets up on the edge again.  
"You ready, Parker?"  
"Yup, I'm ready." He answers.  
I'm too afraid to look at him, so I keep my eyes on Jamila.  
"Now!" Hudson and Chase yell. She nods and throws a cartwheel. The suspense is making her feet shake a little bit, but she manages to keep the balance. She does another one and almost looses her balance. Me and Aubrey rush to help her, even though she's okay.  
"One more to go." I whisper.  
"Hurry!" Hudson yells. Jamila rushes to do the last one and the moment her feet touch the edge again, me and Aubrey start yelling: "Done! Help him up now!"  
Chase and Hudson lift Parker up and all three of them rush to us. Parker is shaking like crazy, Hudson and Chase have to help him stand.  
"That went well!" I say. "I think it's be wise to have a tiny pause, just so Parker can get some of his strength back so he can help the next one." Everyone nods in agreement.

"We'll go next." Chase says. I nod and take a step back from the group.  
"You guys should sit down and rest." Jamila says. "We'll test Trinity's cartwheels and do the next round after it."  
I throw a cartwheel on my right side, then I test my left side.  
"Left is definitely my better side." I comment.  
"Great!" Aubrey says. "Now try which way you should face."  
I make one more cartwheel and come to conclusion that I should be facing Aubrey and Jamila.  
"I'm ready." I say. "Chase, how are you?"  
"Fine, after this is over." He answers and stands up. Parker seems to gotten himself together because he gets up on his own.  
"Let's do this then."  
We walk to the edge. He nods at me. I flash a partly fake smile and get up on the edge. I face the girls and try to relax my muscles.  
"Now!" I hear the yell and make my first cartwheel. I feel shaky, but I avoid watching anywhere other than Aubrey and Jamila who are staying close to me.  
"Good, good, two more to go!" Jamila says. I throw another cartwheel and take a second to stop the world from spinning. I almost fail the last one, because I put too much of my weight to my front. I loose my balance while landing, but Jamila and Aubrey are quick to catch me in their arms.  
"I did it!" I yell and the guys help Chase up. I run to him. "Are you okay? Did I take too long?"  
"It's okay." He nods. "It was.. awful, but I'm here and it's okay. You did amazing."  
I hug him. I can feel how tense his muscles are, he's shaking everywhere. I guess I'm too. We sit down and try to relax.

Jamila and Aubrey go test Aubrey's cartwheel game. She's not bad, but her cartwheels are definitely the weakest one of the three of us.  
"That's okay, really.." Jamila says. "Just try to..-"  
"Your time is running up." We hear Gayle's voice. "Better hurry if you don't want to loose your prizes or face some sanctions."  
Aubrey is freaking out. I stand up and run to her.  
"You should face the fall." Jamila says calmly. "Aubrey, listen to me, it's going to be alright. You will be your back turned on us, try to lean little bit back as you do it so if you fall, you will fall to us."  
"And place your hands as close to us as you can, that gives you more space to do it."  
Aubrey nods, tears rolling on her cheeks.  
Boys are already on the edge. We help Aubrey up.  
"You can do this." Jamila says.  
"Now!" Chase and Parker yell. Aubrey makes the first cartwheel. She falls towards us, but she manages to get back on the edge in no time at all. "It's okay, it's okay.." I whisper. "Two more of those and we're done." She makes the second cartwheel, still weakly, but now she lands better. "One more!" Jamila says and Aubrey throws her last one. The landing doesn't go perfectly and she overbalances towards the fall. Me and Jamila are quick to catch her arm and a leg, so the result is her dropping front down on the edge, facing the fall and screaming.  
"We're done!" Jamila yells at the guys. "Aubrey, are you okay?"  
We help Aubrey onto her feet. She's shaking and crying uncontrollably.  
"I think I broke a rib.." She says between the cries.  
"But it's done." I whisper. Hudson, Parker and Chase walk to us. Now we're all kind of keeping each others on our feet, leaning to each others.

  
Chapter 11: Winners

"Congratulations!" Gayle and Guy yell in unison.  
"It's been one hell of a finale and here we have six fierce, brave players who have just won May's NERVE!" Gayle yells.  
"They've faced their worst fears, risked their lives multiple times and challenged themselves to do more and more dangerous dares!" Guy continues. "When it comes to prizes, these players have earned every single one of them. After tonight they will be able to enjoy long spa-weekends, meet their idols, go on vacations and walk around wearing new designer shoes!"  
We hear music, and everyone hugs each others. There's even confetti.  
"We did it!" I whisper to Chase.  
"You must be wondering, what's next." Gayle says. "You should return to the finale room and go to your own dressing rooms. Your prizes will be waiting for you there with some of the extra gifts our sponsors wanted to give you. After that we will make quick interviews of all of you and then you're free to go!"  
We return to the elevator, relieved, happy, traumatized. Nobody talks. We're so full of all of these conflicted emotions, and most of all, we're tired.

Once we're back at the finale room, Hudson opens his mouth. "Thanks, guys. This has been.. One hell of a night."  
"Yeah, thanks." Aubrey nods along. "It has been truly awesome to get to know you all."  
"We'll meet again, right?" Parker says. "There's going to be all of those extra group interviews and everything, the following month.."  
"Yeah and we can stay in touch and hang out!" Jamila says.  
"In a group therapy?" I propose. Everyone laughs. I grab my backpack. We change phone numbers and hug.  
"I'll meet you on the other side." Chase says to me and kisses me. We all go back to our dressing rooms. I take my phone from my backpack.

Congratulations, Trinity!!! Thanks for playing NERVE! Your prizes are listed here:

\- All 70 books listed on your Amazon wish list  
\- Weekend trip to NYC for two + unlimited spa gift card  
\- Macbook pro  
\- Week long vacation to Argentina for two  
\- 1000 dollar gift card to the clothing line ModCloth  
\- Week long vacation to London for two + meeting with J.K.Rowling  
\- 1650 dollars that are already transferred to your bank account

I look at the box of books. On top of it there's a white box with apple's logo on it. Few envelopes, containing the gift cards and airline tickets and further instructions, I guess. I look around. Sponsors have given me a lot of makeup, a gorgeous high-fashion dress (with a note telling me to get dressed in it), phone numbers of few known publishers (with a note of recommendation on the side) and a photo book of me, Chase and other finalists during the finale. There's a knock on the door.  
"Yeah?" I ask. The door opens and a young, red headed woman sticks her head to the dressing room.  
"Hi, Trinity!" She says. "I'm Megan and I'll be your stylist for the following month."  
"Oh.. That's cool. Thanks."  
"I figured you might need some help with that dress."  
"Yes, definitely" I flash a smile. She comes closer to me and helps me with the zipper of my dress. Then she takes the beautiful, dark blue dress off from the hanger and holds it in her hands very carefully.  
"It's Zuhair Murad." She says. "I absolutely adore his designs!"  
"It's beautiful." I nod along. I take off Willow's dress and let her help me slip into the new dress. It feels cool on my skin and surprisingly heavy.  
"Wow!" Megan says. "It's even more gorgeous worn by you"  
I smile and look at myself on the mirror. The dress is magnificent.  
"You can sit down, I'll handle your hair and make up.." She sits me down in front of the mirror. "You've been really brave tonight, Trinity.."  
"Thanks."  
"I mean really. Everything you've done tonight, there aren't many people who can do all of that and still remain sane.." She continues. "I just want you to know that it's over now. You did it and after this it'll all the great things.. There will be couple of group interviews during the next month, parties, of course.. You'll go on vacations and relax!"  
I just sit there, watching my reflection as Megan puts my hair on a pretty braided bun.  
"And that speech you gave when you burned the book! It was amazing."  
I just smile to her. I am so tired. Everything that has happened during these last twelve hours.. Everything feels so unreal. Fake. Like it all happened on a movie and the end credits just rolled before my eyes. Like the lights came back and now it's time to stand up and exit the movie theatre.  
Megan makes me gorgeous eye-makeup and switches my lipstick to few shades lighter one.  
"I think you're ready." She says. "Stand up!"  
I stand up and she walks around me.  
"Oh! I almost forgot!" She says and hurries to her bag. "The shoes!"  
She gives me beautiful high heels and I kick my sneakers off. I put the shoes on and look at myself. I don't even recognize what I see.  
"You look beautiful." Reagan says. Then she looks at my prizes. "Do you want a lift home, or have you arranged it some other way?"  
"I um.. Could I talk to Chase? He mentioned winning a car.."  
"Sure! Should I invite him here?" She asks.  
"That'd be great."  
Reagan walks out of the room and shuts the door behind her. I fold Willow's dress to my backpack carefully and look around. I take most of the makeup and put the photo book and the envelopes on the backpack. I place it on top of the box of books. The door opens and Reagan comes back with Chase.  
"Hi!" I say.  
"You look really good."  
"Thanks. You look good too." He's wearing new, expensive clothes too. For a moment we just smile at each others. "Could you drive me home? I mean, did you get your prize car already?"  
"Yes, it's on the parking hall." He says. "Of course I'll drive you."  
"Thanks." I smile. "How are you?"  
"Tired, mostly." He answers. "Everything seems so unreal. All of these prizes and..-"  
"Yeah, I get it."  
"Are you ready for your interviews?" Reagan asks.  
"Uh, I guess we are." He answers.  
"Don't worry about your prizes, we've got people to carry them to the right car!" Reagan smiles. "You're free to go!" 

Chase takes my hand as we step out of the door. We're in the parking lot again, only this time we're not alone. There are like fifty cameras pointing at us. Behind the cameras there are hundreds of Watchers. Screaming and filming us. Looking left and right we see our fellow finalists, all wearing high fashion clothes, looking pretty shocked about the fame we're getting.  
"Alright, alright!" A woman with a microphone says. Crowd doesn't do silent, but the chaos slows down a little bit. "How about a group picture first?"  
We all walk towards each others and pose for pictures. This is insane. After that reporters come to us and lead us further away from each others.  
"Hi, Trinity!" The reporter says. "What are the top three emotions right now?"  
"Um.. Tired." I laugh. "Weird and happy."  
"You'll be home relaxing in no time!" He says. "Getting to relax must be one of the best prizes you won tonight!"  
"Definitely."  
"Can you tell us what's the prize you're most excited about?"  
"Well, I love traveling, so I'm really looking forward to my vacation to Argentina." I smile.  
"Oh, that was a trip for two, wasn't it?"  
"Yes."  
"Who will be your plus one for the trip?" He asks. "My money is on a certain Argentinean heartthrob!"  
"It's probably him, yeah.." I nod.  
"How about the other trips you won? Will you take Chase there too, or have you other companion in mind for them?"  
"I'm spending the NYC spa trip with my best friend Willow."  
"Sounds good!" The reporter says. "Last but not least, you must have something to say to our Watchers.."  
"Yeah, of course!" I start. "Thank you for watching us and supporting us. This night has been a once in a lifetime type of experience and I'm thankful for each and every one of you for it!"  
"That's it, thank's for the interview!" He says and shakes my hand. "We will meet multiple times during the next month and have many conversations about your NERVE experience!"  
"Thanks!" I say. Then I look at the sea of Watchers and turn back to Chase. He is walking my way, and I rush to meet him in the halfway.  
"Security guards will walk us to my car." He says.  
We don't have to wait for long until the two security guards are walking our way.  
"Follow me." The other one says. I take Chase's hand and we follow the security guard as the other one is walking behind us. They split the sea of Watchers smoothly so we can walk to Chase's car. Watchers are reaching to touch us, they're screaming at us and filming us. I try to smile to them while Chase keeps his facial expression pretty neutral. The security guard opens the car door for me and I sit down. I look to the backseat and see my backpack, books and macbook. 

He sits next to me and sighs.  
"They told they had driven my mom's car back to my house." He explains.  
"Oh." I nod. "Kind of makes sense."  
He starts the engines and we start driving.  
"Does your mother know about NERVE?" I ask.  
"I've told her where I got all the money.." He nods. "But I haven't explained really what kind of game show NERVE is."  
"Seems wise." I smile. "I mean, my parents wouldn't want me to play this game."  
"Exactly."  
As we drive trough the city, we note that there are Watchers everywhere. And there are cars following us, too. I try not to panic. Thank god he seems calm.  
"It's okay, we'll just drive the longer way." He assures. "Make some unexpected turns, they can't follow us forever."  
But it took almost forty minutes driving around before we could say to be alone. We're too tired to even talk when he parks in from of my house.  
"Do you want to stay here tonight?" I ask. "You're too tired to drive."  
"Sure, thanks." He nods. We get out of the car and take my prizes from the backseat. I take my backpack and the macbook, he carries the box full of books.  
"Wow that's heavy." He admits. "What do you have here, rocks?"  
"No, those are my books." I say. "Put the box down, we can carry it together once I've opened the door." He does as I say and after we leaving my other prizes inside we come back for the box. It really is really heavy, but together we manage to get it inside the house. He returns to his new car and grabs his most valuable prizes (meaning his mother's green card). Then he locks the car and comes inside. I make sure the door is locked. We leave the books in front of the door and kick the shoes from our feet.  
"Do you want anything?" I ask.  
"Sleep." He yawns. We go to my room and look around.  
"Can you help me with my dress?" I ask. He nods and opens it. "Do you want the sofa or my bed?"  
"I'm okay with the sofa." He says.  
"Okay. There are already blankets and pillows." I yawn as I lie down on my bed. "Good night, Chase"  
"Good night, Harper." He says and lies down on the sofa.  
I swear I've never fell asleep as fast.

  
Chapter 12: Aftermath

The next afternoon

I wake up around 1 o'clock. For a moment I don't remember the game. I see Chase sleeping on my couch and recognize that he seems familiar, but can't really put the puzzle together. I stand up and notice pain everywhere. Then it all comes rushing back to me.  
I feel like vomiting. I did all that. And survived.  
I feel weak and strangely powerful at the same time.  
I walk to my closet and choose the first t-shirt and skirt I find. After getting dressed, I walk to the kitchen. Seeing out of the window makes my heart drop to my stomach. I freeze and consider the options. I fake a smile and walk back to my room.  
"Chase!" I say. "Wake up, Chase!"  
"What?"  
"We might have a problem." I admit. "My yard is full of Watchers."  
Right after I said it, someone knocks on my window.  
"Oh god" He gets up. "Is it because of the milkshake?"  
"What?"  
"The song." He tries to make me laugh. "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..-"  
I laugh, but we both get serious soon.  
"What should we do?"  
"I don't know." He shrugs his shoulders, looking panicked. "We could just like, give them what they want? They'll calm down after some time."  
"Let's do that, yeah.." I nod.  
"So..-"  
"We'll have breakfast. In front of like fifty cameras."  
"Alright." He nods.

We walk to the kitchen and wave to the Watchers. They're going crazy, watching us make coffee and fry eggs. We try to draw attention to us being affectionate towards each others, so they could get what they want. We eat and drink, sitting there by the windows.  
"I should go home." He says. "I've got some pretty good news to tell my mom and sister."  
"Oh." I fake a smile. Partly for him, partly for the Watchers. "Will you be fine?"  
"Sure." He nods. "I mean, will you be fine?"  
"I think I will. I'll call Willow and ask her to come."  
"Sounds good." He says and leans to kiss me. I can hear cheering from outside.  
"Will you visit me tomorrow?" I ask.  
"Of course."  
I walk with him to the door.  
"This will all be over soon." Chase promises. "The next finalists are already doing their prelim dares and the final will come sooner than we realize."  
I nod and he opens the door. Then he's gone. I go back to the kitchen to see that he gets to his car safely. I note that some of the Watchers start following him. Most of them stay here.  
I call Willow and ask her to stay with me for this day and the following night. She's happy to, but a bit freaked out when I told her she should use the backdoor of my house. 

After she comes everything is supposedly alright. She helps me arrange all of my new books to my bookshelf. She is in awe over my new Zuhair Murad -dress and Dolce and Gabbana shoes. She wants to talk about Chase and the other finalists, doing her best ignoring the Watchers in front of the window. I do my best answering the questions even though in reality I would prefer to talk about anything but NERVE. 

One week later

"Welcome to the Epilogue, May's NERVE winners!" The host lady says.  
We're sitting on two sofas. I'm seated between Chase and Jamila. Parker, Aubrey and Hudson sit opposed to us and the host has her own armchair between the two sofas.  
"Thanks!" Everyone says, faking a smile and nodding.  
"We have a whole hour to discuss all of your NERVE experiences and the new lifestyle you're enjoying right now, are you ready?" The host asks, apparently more from the live audience than us. The Watchers scream, which seems to mean 'yes'.  
"Alright, alright.. Who will start?" She says, watching at us. "Chase!"  
Chase focuses his eyes on the host and smiles briefly.  
"How's life, Chase?"  
"Um.. Different." He says, truthfully. "The prizes have changed my family's life."  
I smile to him. 

He had called me right after he had broke the news to his mother and sister. After talking for few minutes, her mother had yanked the phone out of his hand and went "Harper! Thank you, so, so much! My son told that you had helped him win the competition, you have no idea how grateful I am!". On Tuesday Chases' mom had insisted on inviting me to a dinner and I had gotten to meet her and Marianela. They had both cried when they talked about the way the prizes have affected their lives - all of Marianela's hospital bills had been payed for and their mother had gotten a better job because go her green card.. They finally had money to buy more food and Chase's schoolbooks.

"Oh, really?" The host smiles. "That's good to hear.. What has it been like to get used to all this attention and fame, then?"  
"I'm not going to lie, it has been hard." He admits.

Hard had been an understatement, really. It had been crazy, with Watchers everywhere. Following us from one place to another, filming us all the time.. They had even broken into the schools we go to, just to get a glimpse of us. The NERVE app keeps sending us notifications of the videos people have taken of us, making sure we don't forget about everything that happened...

".. But it has been worth it, of course." Chase continues. "This is all so new for us and getting used to having Watchers everywhere is naturally a bit weird, we've all gotten used to privacy.."  
We all nod as he speaks. It's only wise to not yell a giant fuck you to the audience. They would probably kill us. Or even worse, demand us to compete on another NERVE finale.  
"Of course." The hosts flashes a smile at Chase. "Trinity! Or should I say Harper?"  
"I prefer Trinity." I state.  
"The little birds, called the Watchers..-" Audience cheers. ".. have told me, that you've been spending a lot of time with our friend Chase here, is that right?"  
"Yes it is." I nod and smile.  
"I haven't taken her on that date I promised yet, but I'm working on it." He comments. The host laughs, and audience cheers.  
"It's good to see you're getting along!" She says. "Have you been keeping in touch with other finalists, as well?"

The week had been crazy for all of us, so we obviously hadn't met. Chase had hung out at my place for almost every day because my parents are still out of the country. I had talked to other finalists, calling them and chatting. 

"Yes, actually." I nod. "We haven't had time to see each others, but we've called and texted each other almost every day."  
"Who have you called most often?"  
"I'd say Jamila or Aubrey."  
"You have become a pretty tight group of friends, huh?"  
"Yes, we all have become good friends.."  
"Lets move to Jamila here." The host smiles. "How have you been doing this last week?"  
"Great." She nods and smiles. "As Chase said, there has been a lot of new things to get used to, but overall it has been great." 

I know she's lying, because she had called me every night, crying because she doesn't get even a minute to be alone.. Her parents had freaked out because she came back in the middle of the night a week ago. She had explained her parents the sugar-coated version of NERVE, that Parker had been with her the whole time and that she had gotten new friends and some amazing prizes.. They had bought the story, but ended up calling the police because of the Watchers. She's now strictly watched by not only the Watchers but her parents too.

"That's good to hear!" The host says, sounding over-excited the same way Gayle and Guy used to sound. "Let's talk about the game."  
The audience cheers once again, and I can see with the side of my eye that Jamila's position tenses a little bit.  
"What was the most difficult thing, you had to do during the game?"  
"Definitely the pool of blood." She says.  
"That was a bad one." The host admits and the audience cheers louder and louder. "Let's watch it again!" A big screen behind the host lights up. It's shared into four different angle of views, so everything could be seen. It's us, standing on the edge of the pool. The Watchers get silent and we are forced to direct our attentions to the screen. On the video we take our clothes off (no one has bothered to censor us) and go to the pool. After that Parker gets up and Jamila has her panic attack.. I take her hand and she looks at me, trying to smile. We continue watching the screen. Hudson screams, and the audience laughs. Chase and Hudson exit the pool and me and Aubrey keep swimming in circles. After me and Aubrey exit the pool, we watch again how the pool empties and reveals all of the bodies and cut out body parts. I look at Jamila. She looks like she could vomit, but she fakes a smile successfully. Parker vomiting to the pool makes the audience scream with laughter. He looks a bit embarrassed, but doesn't seem to care too much.  
"Alright, that really was something!" The host says after the screen goes white again. "It remains one of the greatest mysteries of the latest game, wether or not the blood was real.."  
No one of us has anything to say to that. 

"Parker, what do you think was the most difficult dare?"  
"Either the blood pool or the final dare." He says. A picture of Parker hanging from the edge of Empire State Building is projected to the screen behind us.  
"You're right, the final dare was breathtaking." The host admits. "How was the personalized panic room of yours?"  
"Oh." Parker says. "That was.. something."  
"Let's have a look, shall we?"  
So we all get to see Parker's panic room, and let's just say that the clowns are just as creepy as he told us. He looks really uncomfortable watching it.

"Aubrey, dear..-" The host says. "How are you?"  
"I'm alright, thanks."  
"You look gorgeous!"  
"Thank you." Aubrey smiles. She really does.  
"You have been such an inspiration for us girls, did you know?"  
"What, no.."  
"I am a princess, but I'm not only a princess.." The host quotes her. "Or something like that."  
The audience cheers again.  
"You've shown everyone, that girls can be feminine and badass, and I want to thank you for that!"  
"That's great." Aubrey smiles. "It's lovely to hear that."  
"Now, what was the most difficult dare for you?"  
"The final one, for sure." She admits. "Cartwheels aren't really my thing."  
The audience laughs, but the best we can do is tense fake smiles.  
"Let's take a look at them." The host says cheerily.  
So we see Aubrey doing he cartwheels, shaking, crying. We see her almost falling. It's almost too horrible to look at. Because of all the different points of views, we can see how close it really was. The audience laughs and cheers, Aubrey keeps the fake smile on her face. She's really brave.  
"Ouch!" The host says, sounding way too happy about it. "I would not want to be on your place during that moment."  
"Yeah, I broke three ribs." Aubrey says, still smiling.  
The host doesn't seem to have anything to say to that, so she picks her last victim.

"Hudson, you seemed to really enjoy the game, huh?"  
"Yeah, most of it was fun."  
"What was the least fun part?"  
"The panic room, obviously."  
So we see the burning room, hear Hudson's fathers screams and see him falling crying and screaming in panic. I don't even have to look at Hudson to know that he's hurting.

"Trinity and Chase, we haven't seen your hardest dares yet." The host says. "Which one will start?"  
"There were few very hard dares.." I start. "I think the worst one was either hanging from the edge of a building or my panic room."  
The screen lights up and we see few minutes of me, screaming and crying and hyperventilating in a closed casket. Chase puts his arm around me and I try to keep a straight face as I literally watch myself being tortured.  
"How about you, Chase?"  
"My hardest dare was the last one, for sure." He says. I know he's lying, because he doesn't want to watch his panic room scene. The host buys it and we watch me doing cartwheels and him hanging from the Empire State Building, his hands slipping on the edge.. It's hard to look at, really. I find my mind rooting for myself, whispering to do the cartwheels faster. I see how close Chase was to falling.  
"Alright, alright, enough of the hardest dares.. We have put together a little video of the best moments of the finale, would you like to see it?" The host doesn't wait for our answers because the video starts immediately. It starts with a clip from my and Chase's first finale dare, us running in the grocery store and him licking the fruits. We look good, well-rested, somehow carefree.. Something I haven't felt for a week now. We're clearly having so much fun. The video moves on to clips of Aubrey and Hudson's and Parker and Jamila's easiest dares. Joking around, laughing. Funny, awkward situations. After that it shows me and Chase hugging in front of the tattoo place, then us sitting in a car talking. Aubrey and Hudson high-fiveing after one truly difficult dare and Parker and Jamila running, holding hands. And then there's the finale room, where we first met. Us talking, even laughing regardless of the anxiety (and terror) of the finale. Us comforting each others. The dance party (which we didn't actually want to do, but looks pretty fun on the video). The whole video skips the final dare and cuts straight to the part where we're all laughing-crying, hugging and kissing. There's music and confetti and we look so happy.  
"Aww, wasn't that cute?" The hostess asks.  
We all nod and mumble "Yeah" in unison. It really was. Only problem was that it wasn't very truthful. We played for almost twelve hours and that video lasted under ten minutes. Twelve hours should have more happiness than then minutes in it.  
"We have a gift for you!" The hostess continues. "You will all receive your very own NERVE-DVD!" She hands all of us a gift bag and we look inside.  
"Wow.." Hudson is the first one to talk. "Thanks."  
"You're welcome!" She says. "It has multiple versions of your game, like the one you just saw.. You can watch the finale like the Watchers saw it, or you can focus on some Player's personal journey."  
I take the dvd to my hand and read the categories on the back. I doubt I'll ever want to watch this. Except maybe a version with the title "Trinity and Chase: a Love Story". I'm sure it's sappy and unrealistic but it seems to be the only one to not cause me a massive panic attack.  
The conversation continues for awhile, but luckily the time is up sooner than we expected.  
"Thank you for coming to Epilogue!" The hostess says and the Watchers applaud. "We'll see you in a week, in the NERVE party! Can't wait!"

Two weeks later

"So, did we understand this correctly, Trinity..-" A reporter asks. "You donated 1000 dollars of your winning money to charity?"  
"Yes." I state. "I'm planning to spend the rest of the money traveling."  
"That sounds like a really good plan!" She answers, nodding. I know it's a bit unusual for NERVE-winner to give most of the winning money away. The truth is, the money felt like a reminder of what happened two weeks ago. Plus it was pretty hard to get out of the house and spend the money when I'm followed everywhere, filmed no matter what I do. On top of that I thought about the speech I gave when I burned my book. On that moment, I had made a decision to use my privilege to help others - so it was pretty obvious choice to give my privileged trauma-money away to a charity. 

"Jamila, can you tell us why Parker couldn't come?"  
"He's sick." Jamila says. "He would've loved to come, obviously. But it was so bad he had to stay home." Of course both me and Jamila and probably even the reporter know the truth. Parker is in hospital. He was the first one to get sick of the Watchers, so he talked his mouth clean and tried to get rid of them. The Watchers (of course) filmed the whole scene, and after doing it they attacked him. It was exactly what we were afraid would happen - they attacked a player the second he wasn't alright with constant violation of his privacy.  
"That's too bad." The reporter says, without sounding sorry at all. 

"Aubrey, how has fame been treating you?"  
"Well!" She answers. "I absolutely love all the support the Watchers have gave me!"  
"Oh, what have you been up to?"  
"I've gone to some auditions..." Aubrey teases. "No news so far, but I'm sure that soon I'll get a part."  
"That's great, Aubrey!" The reporter says. "How have out Watchers shown their support?"  
"Well, many of them actually show up to the auditions I go to. And, well, they make sure that I don't have to do anything alone." Her voice cracks. She is now deadly afraid to exit her house, especially after what happened to Parker. The auditions she has been to haven't gone very well, mostly because the Watchers keep following her and somehow sneak into places they have no permission to be. Let's just say Aubrey's worst fear isn't spiders or cartwheels anymore.

"Hudson, how are you?" The reporter asks.  
"Great." He nods. He doesn't look great, to be honest. Hudson looks exhausted, dark circles around his eyes and tired posture.  
"You look tired." The reporter notes.  
"Well, yeah, I am." Hudson admits. "Let's just say that after winning NERVE there has been endless amount of party invitations!"  
He hasn't been to even a one party after the game. He used to party a lot, and now he's hardly himself. The tiredness is because of the nightmares. His panic room had awoke the old trauma. Nowadays he prefers staying awake because every time he closes his eyes, he sees fire and some other occasional elements from our game (like cut out body parts, graffiti or the Empire State Building). 

"Chase, what are the vibes two weeks after the game?"  
"There are.. pretty strong vibes going on." He forces a laugh.  
"Care to explain that a little bit?"  
"Sure." Chase nods. "I just feel like my life has changed forever."  
"Wait, are you talking about your girlfriend now?"  
"Yeah." He admits. He's lying. His life has changed forever because of the game for few reasons.  
1\. His mother is a citizen of US now so in many ways, his family's life is better.  
Then there's 2: the Watcher's, the nightmares, the panic attacks, the PTSD, feeling like you're under a microscope every second that passes.  
And of course there's also worrying for Parker, and the others! I am not alright, Jamila and Aubrey aren't alright, Hudson is definitely not alright. 

We're not alright.


End file.
